Category Archives: Marraige In Islam
First I shall state some historical and cultural facts deemed helpful to reach the truth about the marriage under discussion.
1. From an article discussing the Age of consent historically, it gathered information from many acknowledged sources like the “Encyclopedia of Children and Childhood in History and Society”, “Children and Youth in History – Age of Consent Laws” by Stephen Robertson, University of Sydney-Australia, and “The Age of Marriage in Ancient Rome” by Lelis, Arnold , Percy, William A. , & Verstraete, Beert C.; we read the following:
In Ancient Rome, it was very common for girls to marry and have children shortly after the onset of puberty. In the 12th century A.D. “Gratian”: the influential founder of Canon law in medieval Europe, accepted age of puberty for marriage to be between 12 and 14 but acknowledged consent to be meaningful if the children were older than 7.1 There were authorities that said that consent could take place earlier. Marriage would then be valid as long as neither of the two parties annulled the marital agreement before reaching puberty, or if they had already consummated the marriage. It should be noted that Judges honored marriages based on mutual consent at ages younger than 7, in spite of what Gratian had said; there are recorded marriages of 2 and 3 years old. The American colonies followed the English tradition, and the law was more of a guide. For example, Mary Hathaway (Virginia, 1689) was only 9 when she was married to William Williams. Sir Edward Coke (England, 17th century) made it clear that: “the marriage of girls under 12 was normal, and the age at which a girl who was a wife was eligible for a dower from her husband’s estate was 9 even though her husband be only four years old.” The French Napoleonic Code established an age of consent of 11 years in 1791, which was raised to 13 in 1863. Portugal, Spain, Denmark and the Swiss cantons, initially set the age of consent at 10–12 years and then raised it to between 13 and 16 years in the second half of the 19th century. Historically, the English common law set the age of consent to range from 10 to 12. In the United States, by the 1880s, most states set the age of consent at 10-12, and in one state, Delaware, the age of consent was only 7. A New York Times article states that it was still aged 7 in Delaware in 1895. [End of adaptation from the article].
One famous example is Alexios II Komnenos (1169-1183 AD) who married Agnes of France. William II; Archbishop of Tyre; witnessed the wedding and reported that Agnes was eight on her arrival at Constantinople, while Alexios was thirteen. Though according to most 12th century views; she was three years too young for marriage; but the pope authorized the marriage and approved to it.
In Islaam if one should get divorced they should do so with the best manners, respect… and dignity, as this is what the Prophet (Sallahe Alhee Wa Sallam) has taught us.
Lastly, once the divorce has taken place the man whom the woman divorced becomes a Non-Mahram, and vice versa. They are not to be alone anymore, they are not to joke around like before, etc. They are to be respectful and to stay away from each other.
The family of the one who has gone through the divorce should treat the woman or man who has been divorced from their family with respect but stay away from them. When the family of the woman talks to the man whom she has divorced or vice versa, it hurts the other person. We need to stay away from hurting others. Feelings and emotions are important to notice and to understand in Islaam. If we don’t care about how we make others feel, then Allaah may punish us, our kids or even grandkids in the way we punished others. Subhana’Allaah, we should always be aware of what we are doing and know that today we are doing it, tomorrow it may happen to us. So if you don’t want it to happen to you, then don’t do it to others.
May Allaah guide us all to goodness and make us amongst the righteous. Ameen. May He make our eman strong and help us do the right thing when circumstances expect it. Ameen.
The Importance and Methodology of Tarbiyah (Education & Upbringing)
by Shaikh Ahmed Aways
Tarbiyah in Islam is very important, for indeed all of the Deen is based upon tarbiyah (i.e. the education and upbringing of the people). This starts first of all with the education and training of our own selves, then of our families, and then of the community at large. But this tarbiyah is most important with respect to our children, so that they are brought up upon the correct path of Islam. Because of this, many of the scholars take care in discussing this aspect of tarbiyah more so than the others.
After the benefit of al-Islam and our very creation, from the best of benefits is that of having children. We see their benefits both in this world and after we have passed to the next. As for the benefits in this world – when a person becomes old and unable to earn a livelihood, all of his friends and companions leave him alone and it is his children who look after and care for him, bearing his problems and burdens. As for after his death, then a person benefits from his children as the Prophet said: “When the son of Adam passes away, all of his deeds are stopped except for three. Some kind of charity that is continuous, or knowledge which the people are benefiting from, or a righteous child who is praying for him.”
Also from the benefits of having children is that if they were to pass away whilst still children, they will intercede for their parents. This is authentically reported from the Prophet , who said: “There is no Muslim individual, male or female, who has three of his children pass away whilst they are young and he is patient with that, except that they will come and intercede for him on the Day of Judgment.” So ‘Umar asked, ‘What about two [children]?’ Upon this the Prophet said, “It is the same for two [children].” (Al-Bazzaar, al-Haakim. Sh. al-Albaanee mentions it in his book, Kitaabul-Janaa-iz)
As for the person who has one child who passes away and he is patient with this, seeking his reward from Allah , then he shall also find a great reward with Him. As in a hadeeth wherein it is reported that the Prophet used to sit down in his sitting place and his companions would sit in front of him to seek benefit and learn from him. From amongst them was a man who had a small boy; he used to come to the Prophet from behind his back by way of respect, then he used to sit in front of him and sit his son in front of the Prophet . The Prophet asked, “Do you love this child of yours?” The man replied, “Yes, and may Allah cause you to love him also.” Then it happened that this child passed away, and the man was so sad that he used to refrain from coming to sit with the Prophet . So the Prophet asked his companions about this man saying, “Why is it that he no longer comes to my sitting place?” And this was from the Sunnah of the Prophet , that if he had people who would come to him and then stop coming, he would ask about their condition and their affairs. So the companions told him that the man’s son had passed away and that he was sad because of that. So the Prophet went to meet this man and asked him, “What has happened to your son?” And the man told him that he had passed away. So the Prophet said, “Do you wish that your son could be here with you spending time with you, or do you prefer that your son would reach Paradise before you, waiting at the Doors of Paradise to open them for you?” So the man said, “O Messenger of Allah. I wish that my son would go forth before me and precede me to Paradise.” So the Prophet said to him, “Verily, this is for you.” So upon this, one of the companions said, “O Messenger of Allah, may I be sacrificed for your sake! Is this (reward) only for this man or is it for all of the people?” He said, “No, this reward is for all of the people (i.e. those who lose a child and are patient with their loss).” (Al-Haakim. Adh-Dhahabee declared it Saheeh as did Sh. Al-Albaanee)
Also from the benefits of having children is that if one has daughters and is patient with them, bringing them up correctly, then for him is a great reward from Allah. Our mother Aa’ishah said, “A woman with two daughters and who was very poor came to my door requesting charity. All I had was three dates, so I gave them to this woman and her two daughters. The woman gave a date to each of her daughters and kept the third date for herself. But when the two daughters had finished their dates, they both looked up to their mother wanting the date which she had. So she felt mercy for her two daughters and split the date into two halves, she gave a half to each of her daughters and then she went away. When the Prophet came back I informed him about what had happened. He said, ‘Anyone who has daughters and is good in bringing them up, then they will be as a barrier between him and the Hell-Fire’.” (Bukhari & Muslim)
It is obligatory for the parents to take care of their children as the responsibility for them is upon their shoulders. As the Prophet said, “All of you are shepherds and will are responsible for his flock.” Unfortunately, many of the people look down upon this affair of bringing up the children correctly and consider it as a small matter and unimportant, instead busying themselves which affairs such as politics and those things which it may be beyond their ability to reach. They look to those things which are seen as more important and so look down upon the affair of raising their children correctly. In this, they are mistaken, as whoever the Imam or the leader of the believers may be, even if he was the most righteous of all righteous people and the most just of all rulers, if a person does not take care of their own affairs then no-one else is going to come into their house and look after their children for them. And if this Imam was the worst of all the people, yet a person was to take care of their own family as is his responsibility, then how is his harm and his condition going to affect that person? Allah says,
“Verily! Allah will not change the good condition of a people as long as they do not change their state of goodness themselves.” [Qur’an Ra’d 13:11]
So it is upon us to change our own condition and the condition of our own families, and then to look to the condition of our communities and the community of the Muslims at large. For if we were to neglect this responsibility then we would never achieve the correct tarbiyah – training, upbringing and education – of our societies.
Indeed the Book of Allah (Qur’an) and the Sunnah of the Prophet encourage us to bring up our children correctly; ordering us with righteousness and good conduct ourselves as well as ordering us to prevent our families from falling into that which would result in their own destruction. As Allah says,
“O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones.” [Qur’an Tahrim 66:6]
And He says,
“And enjoin Prayer on your family, and be patient in offering them (i.e. the Prayers).” [Qur’an Ta-Ha 20:132]
The Prophet said, “Order your children with Salah when they are seven years old, and beat them upon it (i.e. force them to do so by hitting them) when they are ten years old, and (also) separate them in their sleeping place.” So by the preceding Ayat and hadeeth, Allah and the Prophet teach the believers about the importance of Salah and worship, and also in the hadeeth the Prophet is teaching his Ummah about how to live this life free from all types of doubts and misconceptions, by avoiding those places and situations where such doubts and misconceptions may arise. So the order is that one should raise one’s children upon the most blessed and praiseworthy of characteristics.
So what follows are some practical steps in bringing up the family correctly.
Seeking Righteous Children
When an individual wants to get married, they should have the intention to have – and ask Allah to give them – righteous children. They should be patient upon this and seek their children with the correct intention i.e. to increase the number of the Prophet’s Ummah, and seek Allah’s reward in this life and the Hereafter by way of his children. As the Prophet said, “Marry those women who are loving and fertile, for verily I want to be amongst those (Prophets) who have the most followers on the Day of Judgement.” So when a person gets married he should seek children with the intention to have many children which will go towards making up the Ummah of the Prophet and that these children may become righteous slaves of Allah so that he may benefit from them in this world and the Hereafter. This is because the intention has a special and important place with regard to the outcome, as the Prophet said, “Verily, every action is by its intention.” So if one has the correct intention at the beginning of the action, then he has its correct fruits at the end.
Setting A Good Example
The parent should be a good and the best example for their children. They should hasten to do all good and, likewise, hasten to leave all evil. This is because children follow the example of their parents as they love them and respect and admire them. So the parents are the greatest of all examples for their children. Therefore, whatever the parents are upon, the children follow them. It is not possible, however one may try, to hide one’s evil characteristics from their children. A person may go into his home, closing the door behind them, but it is the children who know the reality of their affairs. They know how their character truly is, what they watch and what they see, and they know their situation perfectly. So we should try and be good examples to our children; having the best characteristics, being good towards the people, and remaining upright in our Deen.
Placing Importance Upon The Deen
The parent should make the most important affair in his life and that of his child the Religion. They should raise their child to know that the most important aspect of his life is that he be upright in his Deen, correcting it and clinging to it firmly. Allah said,
“And this (submission to Allah, Islam) was enjoined by Ibrahem upon his sons and by Ya’qoob (as), (saying), ‘O my sons! Allah has chosen for you the (true) Religion, then die not except in the Faith of Islam.” [Qur’an Baqarah 2:132]
And He says,
“And he made it (i.e. Laa ilaha illAllah – none has the right to be worshipped but Allah Alone) a Word lasting among his offspring (True Monotheism), that they may turn back (i.e. repent to Allah or receive admonition).” [Qur’an Zukhruf 43:28]
So this should be our greatest concern with regard to our children, that we make clear to them the importance of their Religion and their being upright. We should not be concerned with their Dunya i.e. that they bring home food or drink or wealth, rather we should be most concerned with their remaining upright Muslims. After this, the believer should make du’a to Allah and supplicate to Him that He guide his children and make them upright, for indeed there is no power nor strength except in Allah. No one has the ability to guide his children himself, or to keep them upon the straight path, rather this is in the Hands of Allah. So one should make du’a to Allah as His prophets did before. Allah says that the believers say,
“Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqoon (i.e. pious and righteous persons who fear Allah much [abstain from all kinds of sins and evil deeds which He has forbidden] and love Allah much [perform all kinds of good deeds which He has ordained]).” [Qur’an Furqan 25:74]
And also Prophet Ibrahem (as) mentioned in a long du’a,
“O my Lord! Make me one who offers prayers perfectly, and (also) from my offspring, our Lord! And accept my invocation.” [Qur’an Ibrahim 14:40]
So we should follow this example of the prophets in making du’a to Allah and taking the necessary steps in educating and bringing up our children upon this Deen, and asking Allah to keep them upright in their Religion. The Ayah which was previously mentioned is general for all of the believers. That is, that when one reaches the age of 40 he should make du’a for his parents and that Allah should keep him upon the Guidance, and he also makes du’a that Allah keeps his children upright and correct their affairs.
Showing Love & Kindness Towards One’s Children
The parent should control his affair with love, kindness and softness, and should not always use harshness and beating to bring up his children. Rather, he should make his way to be primarily a loving and concerned way. However, if the situation requires that he should also use harshness and hardness and even hitting his children, then he should do so as and when the situation requires it, but he should not make this his way i.e. that he is always hard and harsh towards his children. We should not be like those people who are always hard upon their children as this may lead them towards further corruption and going astray. Neither should we be like many of the Europeans are i.e. that they leave their children without any discipline so that they follow whatever way they like and do whatever they like. Rather we should take the middle course (balanced), sometimes using harshness and sometimes softness, according to the situation. We should always try to exercise balance in raising our children, balancing their affairs correctly and making the uppermost characteristic that of kindness, softness and mercy.
Teaching Good Character
The parent should raise his children upon good character from a young age. He should teach them the Qur’an, the Seerah of the Prophet and that of the Companions also (ra). One should not leave his children to continue making mistakes saying that he will correct them when they get older, because indeed it becomes increasingly more difficult to correct a person when he has grown up upon incorrect actions and bad characteristics. As a poet said, “Whoever grows up upon something, he grows old upon that same thing.” So we should teach our children from a young age the correct Aqeedah and belief, for example that Allah is above His Throne, and we should teach them love for the Prophet and his Companions (ra). We should also teach them aspects of good character, like being courageous, kind, generous and modest etc. Then if one of our children makes a mistake, we should point out this mistake to them and explain that the action is wrong, not leaving them and saying ‘they are just children’ or that we will tell them when they grow older. This is because of the saying, “Whoever grows up upon something, he grows old upon that that same thing.” And from the guidance of the Prophet is that he used to train and bring up the children from a young age upon good manners and character. As can be seen in the hadeeth of Hasan , in which he narrates how he once took a date from the dates of Sadaqa, and the Prophet shouted at him and told him to take the date out of his mouth. The Prophet explained to him that the dates were for Sadaqa, and that Sadaqa was not allowed for the Prophet or his family. So the Prophet did not leave Hasan alone, rather he reprimanded him for what he did and explained to him the correct way, using intelligence and Hikmah. Likewise in the hadith of the son of Umm Salamah, who narrated that he used to stay in the house of the Prophet , and that he used to eat in an incorrect way i.e. from everywhere in the plate. So the Prophet said to him, “O boy! Mention Allah’s Name i.e. say ‘Bismillah’, eat with your right hand and eat that which is in front of you. So this Sahabah went on to narrate that he continued to practise this etiquette of eating until that day (i.e. until he had become older). This shows that the Prophet would correct the children by pointing out their mistakes, and also he did so in such a way that they would continue upon the correct way which he had taught them until they became older.
Exercising Justice With Regard To One’s Children
The parent should not oppress or wrong any of his children. He should not show one of his children due favour more so than the other, by giving him more than his other children or praising him more than any of the others. Indeed this type of oppression and favouritism can be a reason for the children swaying from the correct path and developing personal problems later on in life. The Prophet said, “Fear Allah and be just with regard to your children.” Indeed, being just can positively affect the children’s tarbiyah, just as being unjust can have negative affects upon their tarbiyah. Of these negative effects is that the child may feel that if he cannot find justice with his own parents, then who can he find justice with? And he may carry this problem and this feeling in his heart all of his life.
Spending Upon One’s Children
The parents, both the mother and the father, should spend upon their children. They should take the necessary steps to earn money and spend upon their children correctly. Indeed, anything, which one spends upon his family with the correct intention, will have a reward for it. As in the hadeeth of Sa’d ibn Ma’aadh , who narrated that the Prophet said, “There is nothing that you spend upon your families, even the food that you put into the mouth of your wife, except that you will get a reward for it.” Also there is a hadeeth which is collected by Muslim, which states the importance of spending upon the family and that it is the best of all actions with which one draws nearer to Allah . In this hadeeth the Prophet said, “Two dinaars which you spend in the way of Allah, or two dinaars which you spend by way of sadaqah (charity), or two dinaars which you give to the miskeen (poor), or the two dinaars which you give to your family – with which of these is the greatest reward? Indeed the greatest of these as regards reward is that dinaar which you spend upon your family.”
So, in conclusion, everyone should take care of his family, for if it were the case that everyone in society were to take care of the upbringing of their families and their financial needs, then this would be good for the society as a whole. And if everyone were to leave the affairs of their families and their children, then this would lead to the corruption of the society and poverty would be widespread. By spending upon our families and taking care of their tarbiyah, this is how we train them and help them to remain upright upon this Deen of Al-Islam.
“What should I be looking for in a prospective spouse? Should I involve my parents and can I be alone with this individual?”
What does Islam say about getting married?
Actions are done by intentions: Read the rest of this entry
If a couple differs in their Islamic perceptions. One who grow up in the West and the other in the East. And they quarrel constantly and can’t come to an agreement. At what point is talaq considered? Is it wrong for a sister to ask for talaq? Will she be punished on the Day of Judgment? Does the Arsh of Ar-Rahman shake once talaq is asked for? This is what one sister, growing up the West is being told by her husband from the East.
Jazak Allah khayr for your response.
All Praises are Due to Allah
The divorce of a Muslimah from her husband is an affair which is loathsome to Allah and not a praise worthy event. This is due to the Read the rest of this entry
The ideal Muslim woman and her relationship with her husband.
download from here: Read the rest of this entry
Look at your status in Deen since you married your spouse. Look at your knowedge, has it grown? Your character, has it improved? Look at your relationship with your Lord, look at the condition of your heart. Read the rest of this entry
~*~55 Ways to Maintain a Happy Marriage~*
Marriage is a highly recommended Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (saw).
“And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between you; verily, in that are signs for people who reflect.” (Qur’an, 30:21)
“And marry those among you that are single and (also marry) the Salihun (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they be poor Allah will enrich them out of His bounty. And Allah is All-Sufficient for His creatures’ needs, All-Knowing (about the state of the people).” [(Qur’an, 24:32) Read the rest of this entry
Man has two basic needs: physical and emotional. As we grow older, our physical needs are reduced and emotional needs start growing. That is the reason at old age our physical needs are at minor level but emotional needs are at pinnacle. When we talk about marriage, usually we talk with respect to the former and not the latter i.e. emotions. Read the rest of this entry
There are numerous contributing factors. Lets just look at one specific (neglected) aspect —
Why does a woman want Divorce after many years ofbeing (apparently) happily married ?
There are many issues in a marriage that might bother a typical wife. Yet, for the peace and tranquility of the home, and to keep her husband happy, the wife often chooses to suppress those feelings. Read the rest of this entry
وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تُقْسِطُوا فِي الْيَتَامَىٰ فَانكِحُوا مَا طَابَ لَكُم مِّنَ النِّسَاءِ مَثْنَىٰ وَثُلَاثَ وَرُبَاعَ ۖ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا فَوَاحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَدْنَىٰ أَلَّا تَعُولُوا
And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan-girls then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (the slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice.
اور اگر تم یتیم لڑکیوں سے بے انصافی کرنے سے ڈرتے ہوتوجوعورتیں تمہیں پسند آئیں ان میں سے دو دو تین تین چار چار سے نکاح کر لو اگر تمہیں خطرہ ہو کہ انصاف نہ کر سکو گے تو پھر ایک ہی سے نکاح کرو جو لونڈی تمہارے ملک میں ہو وہی
سہی یہ طریقہ بے انصافی سے بچنے کے لیے زیادہ قریب ہے
☀☀ Brief Explanation (Tafseer) ☀☀
•••► Allah said,
وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ تُقْسِطُواْ فِي الْيَتَامَى فَانكِحُواْ مَا طَابَ لَكُم مِّنَ النِّسَاء…
And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry (other) women of your choice,
Allah commands, when one of you is the caretaker of a female orphan and he fears that he might not give her a dowry that is suitable for women of her status, he should marry other women, who are plenty as Allah has not restricted him. Read the rest of this entry
Marriage and divorce are very intricate issues in Islam. These issues should be studied thoroughly from Quran Education know and understand the technicalities involved. Marriage is an institution in Islam, which holds a great importance.We can only learn the importance of marriage through Quran learning.
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said,’ A person who posses the means to marry (i.e. he is able to work etc. to support a wife and children) and does not marry then he is not from amongst us (i.e. the believers).’
The rights in marriage fall into 3 categories:
1- Mutual rights between the two spouses.
2- Husband’s rights.
3- Wife’s rights.
These rights translate into the following duties that the husband and wife owe to each other:
Duties that are mutual:
First Duty: To forgive each other’s small mistakes.
Second Duty: To provide emotional support in both happiness and sadness
Third Duty: To offer each other wholesome advice concerning obedience to Allah.
Read the rest of this entry
Q: Why does Islam degrade women by keeping them behind the veil?
The status of women in Islam is often the target of attacks in the secular media. The ‘hijab’ or the Islamic dress is cited by many as an example of the ‘subjugation’ of women under Islamic law. Before we analyze the reasoning behind the religiously mandated ‘hijab’, let us first study the status of women in societies before the advent of Islam.
In the past women were degraded and used as objects of lust
The following examples from history amply illustrate the fact that the status of women in earlier civilizations was very low to the extent that they were denied basic human dignity:
1. Babylonian Civilization:
The women were degraded and were denied all rights under the Babylonian law. If a man murdered a woman, instead of him being punished, his wife was put to death.
2. Greek Civilization:
Greek Civilization is considered the most glorious of all ancient civilizations. Under this very ‘glorious’ system, women were deprived of all rights and were looked down upon. In Greek mythology, an ‘imaginary woman’ called ‘Pandora’ is the root cause of misfortune of human beings. The Greeks considered women to be subhuman and inferior to men. Though chastity of women was precious, and women were held in high esteem, the Greeks were later overwhelmed by ego and sexual perversions. Prostitution became a regular practice amongst all classes of Greek society.
3. Roman Civilization:
When Roman Civilization was at the zenith of its ‘glory’, a man even had the right to take the life of his wife. Prostitution and nudity were common amongst the Romans.
4. Egyptian Civilization:
The Egyptian considered women evil and as a sign of a devil.
5. Pre-Islamic Arabia:
Before Islam spread in Arabia, the Arabs looked down upon women and very often when a female child was born, she was buried alive.
HIJJAB IN ISLAM
Islam uplifted women and gave them equality and expects them to maintain their status.
Islam uplifted the status of women and granted them their just rights 1400 years ago. Islam expects women to maintain their status.
Hijab for men:
People usually only discuss ‘hijab’ in the context of women. However, in the Glorious Qur’an, Allah (swt) first mentions ‘hijab’ for men before ‘hijab’ for the women. The Qur’an mentions in Surah Noor:
“Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: and Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.” [Al-Qur’an 24:30]
The moment a man looks at a woman and if any brazen or unashamed thought comes to his mind, he should lower his gaze.
Hijab for women:
The next verse of Surah Noor, says:
” And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons…” [Al-Qur’an 24:31]
3. Six criteria for Hijab:
According to Qur’an and Sunnah there are basically six criteria for observing hijab:
The first criterion is the extent of the body that should be covered. This is different for men and women. The extent of covering obligatory on the male is to cover the body at least from the navel to the knees. For women, the extent of covering obligatory is to cover the complete body except the face and the hands upto the wrist. If they wish to, they can cover even these parts of the body. Some scholars of Islam insist that the face and the hands are part of the obligatory extent of ‘hijab’.
All the remaining five criteria are the same for men and women.
2. The clothes worn should be loose and should not reveal the figure.
3. The clothes worn should not be transparent such that one can see through them.
4. The clothes worn should not be so glamorous as to attract the opposite sex.
5. The clothes worn should not resemble that of the opposite sex.
6. The clothes worn should not resemble that of the unbelievers i.e. they should not wear clothes that are specifically identities or symbols of the unbelievers’ religions.
4. Hijab includes conduct and behaviour among other things:
Complete ‘hijab’, besides the six criteria of clothing, also includes the moral conduct, behaviour, attitude and intention of the individual. A person only fulfilling the criteria of ‘hijab’ of the clothes is observing ‘hijab’ in a limited sense. ‘Hijab’ of the clothes should be accompanied by ‘hijab’ of the eyes, ‘hijab’ of the heart, ‘hijab’ of thought and ‘hijab’ of intention. It also includes the way a person walks, the way a person talks, the way he behaves, etc.
5. Hijab prevents molestation:
The reason why Hijab is prescribed for women is mentioned in the Qur’an in the following verses of Surah Al-Ahzab:
“O Prophet! Tell thy wives and daughters, and the believing women that they should cast their outer garments over their persons (when abroad); that is most convenient, that they should be known (as such) and not molested. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [Al-Qur’an 33:59]
The Qur’an says that Hijab has been prescribed for the women so that they are recognized as modest women and this will also prevent them from being molested.
6. Example of twin sisters :
Suppose two sisters who are twins, and who are equally beautiful, walk down the street. One of them is attired in the Islamic hijab i.e. the complete body is covered, except for the face and the hands up to the wrists. The other sister is wearing western clothes, a mini skirt or shorts. Just around the corner there is a hooligan or ruffian who is waiting for a catch, to tease a girl. Whom will he tease? The girl wearing the Islamic Hijab or the girl wearing the skirt or the mini? Naturally he will tease the girl wearing the skirt or the mini. Such dresses are an indirect invitation to the opposite sex for teasing and molestation. The Qur’an rightly says that hijab prevents women from being molested.
7. Capital punishment for the rapists:
Under the Islamic shariah, a man convicted of having raped a woman, is given capital punishment. Many are astonished at this ‘harsh’ sentence. Some even say that Islam is a ruthless, barbaric religion! I have asked a simple question to hundreds of non-Muslim men. Suppose, God forbid, someone rapes your wife, your mother or your sister. You are made the judge and the rapist is brought in front of you. What punishment would you give him? All of them said they would put him to death. Some went to the extent of saying they would torture him to death. To them I ask, if someone rapes your wife or your mother you want to put him to death. But if the same crime is committed on somebody else’s wife or daughter you say capital punishment is barbaric. Why should there be double standards?
8. Western society falsely claims to have uplifted women:
Western talk of women’s liberalization is nothing but a disguised form of exploitation of her body, degradation of her soul, and deprivation of her honour. Western society claims to have ‘uplifted’ women. On the contrary it has actually degraded them to the status of concubines, mistresses and society butterflies who are mere tools in the hands of pleasure seekers and sex marketeers, hidden behind the colourful screen of ‘art’ and ‘culture’.
9. USA has one of the highest rates of rape:
United States of America is supposed to be one of the most advanced countries of the world. It also has one of the highest rates of rape in any country in the world. According to a FBI report, in the year 1990, every day on an average 1756 cases of rape were committed in U.S.A alone. Later another report said that on an average everyday 1900 cases of rapes are committed in USA. The year was not mentioned. May be it was 1992 or 1993. May be the Americans got ‘bolder’ in the following years.
Consider a scenario where the Islamic hijab is followed in America. Whenever a man looks at a woman and any brazen or unashamed thought comes to his mind, he lowers his gaze. Every woman wears the Islamic hijab, that is the complete body is covered except the face and the hands up to the wrist. After this if any man commits rape he is given capital punishment. I ask you, in such a scenario, will the rate of rape in America increase, will it remain the same, or will it decrease?
10. Implementation of Islamic Sharee’ah will reduce the rate of rapes:
Naturally as soon as Islamic Sharee’ah is implemented positive results will be inevitable. If Islamic Sharee’ah is implemented in any part of the world, whether it is America or Europe, society will breathe easier. Hijab does not degrade a woman but uplifts a woman and protects her modesty and chastity.
The word “hijab” comes from the Arabic word “hajaba” meaning to hide from view or conceal. In the present time, the context of hijab is the modest covering of a Muslim woman. To the non Muslims the hijab is simply a piece of cloth covering a woman’s hair and neck but to us Muslim women it is much more than that. The subject of hijab is one I feel very strongly about. Having grown up as a non Muslim I have been ‘on the other side’ so to speak. I am all too aware of the constant attention women give to hairstyles, make up, perfume, mini skirts and revealing clothes, competition between the young girls about who gets the most attention from the opposite sex, etc. etc. but wearing the hijab you are shielded from all of that, and what a liberation that is…we Muslim women of course dress up and make ourselves as beautiful and pleasing as possible but only in front of our husbands, I think that is very special. Non Muslim women have the freedom to undress and Muslim women have the freedom to dress with dignity and modesty. Some non Muslims might disagree but I would tell them to go and ask any man they know what it is they first notice about a woman…
It is said in the Holy Quran (33:59) “O Prophet, tell your wives and daughters and the believing women to draw their outer garments around them (when they go out or are among men). That is better in order that they may be known (to be Muslims) and not annoyed…”
Further the prophet said about this: “When a girl reaches the menstrual age, it is not proper that anything should remain exposed except this and this”. He pointed to the face and hands. (Abu Dawood).
A Muslim woman who covers her head is making a statement about her identity. Anyone who sees her will know that she is a Muslim and has a good moral character. Many Muslim women who cover are filled with dignity and self esteem; they are pleased to be identified as a Muslim woman. As a chaste, modest, pure woman, she does not want her sexuality to enter into interactions with men in the smallest degree. A woman who covers herself is concealing her sexuality but allowing her femininity to be brought out.
The hijab is an act of obedience to Allah and to the prophet and to not wear it is a sin: `It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allah and His messenger have decreed a matter that they should have an option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger, has indeed strayed in a plain error.‘ (Translation of the Noble Quran 33:36).
Hijab is beautiful when you know its true meaning, I will try to explain what the hijab means, as it is much more than just a piece of cloth.
Firstly I will make it clear that a Muslim woman’s dress must be non transparent, it must be loose enough to not show her figure, free from patterns of animals and humans, perfume free, it should not resemble men’s clothing, it should cover the whole body apart from hands and face. When these guidelines are met you are free to wear anything, any colour, any style. Some Muslim women wear headgear which resembles the hijab like a piece of cloth which is half covering the head, tucked behind the ears, sometimes falls down and has to be put into place again and again, this is not hijab, this is ignorance on the woman’s part and it is not the proper way to dress for Muslims.
The hijab doesn’t only apply to clothing:
There is a whole attitude and way of behaving which goes with the dress code, like shyness and modesty.
The voice must be friendly but not luring and we must not laugh out loudly.
Hijab is a statement from the woman to the outside world, that she is a Muslim and proud of it.
Wearing the hijab you remind everyone who sees you of our creator.
Hijab is a shield/protection against the sexual looks of men, which in itself is a liberation..
Hijab reminds you all the time about being on your best behaviour.
Also hijab is the perfect way to tell others about Islam, people will come and ask you about it and many will be interested in learning more.
Hijab is not just for Islam, it is also a requirement in Christianity, and not just for the nuns.:
Corinthians 11:5-10 ‘but every woman that prayeth of prophesieth with her head uncovered, dishonoureth her head’.
Corinthians 11:13 ‘judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman prays unto God (with her head) uncovered’.
Is it because those who have usurped the rights of God can’t stand a pure muslim girl deciding to be obedient to God… so then she must be freed from her oppression, must learn to be liberated, and her hijab must be banned ?
Muslim women wear it out of their OWN FREEWILL too. Majority of Muslim women dont cover their faces as it is not obligatory but the majority of scholars say that the face veil (niqab) is highly recommended.
And last, Catholics and some Christians have in their homes and churches pictures and statues of the supposedly Virgin Mary (may Allah be pleased with her) to whom they bow to in honor and she is covered like a Muslim… some of those same people look at Muslim women as oppressed, Subhana’allah this is schizophrenia at best!
women as oppressed, Subhana’allah this is schizophrenia at best.
Hijab is also for the Jews:
Jewish women should cover their head. Ancient rabbis said ‘it is not right for the daughters of Israel to walk out with their heads uncovered’. ‘Cursed be the man who lets the hair of his wife be seen’.
‘Uncovering the woman’s hair is considered nudity’ (Ibid pp. 316-317). (Swindler op. cit. pp. 121-123) If a woman’s hair was uncovered during the Tannaitic period the Jewish woman might be fined 400 zuzim for this offence.
This is The Picture of Orthodox Jewish womens in Burqa….
Are they terrorist ??? Oppressed ???
The revealing western style dress of today is a relatively new invention. If you go back in time only about 70 years or so you will find even western women wearing clothes which resemble hijab and you will find that when even nowadays when women want to dress decently they cover themselves up.
The husband should, at the time of consummating the marriage with his wife or before that, place his hand on the front part of her head, mention the name of Allaah Most High, and pray for Allaah’s blessings. As in the statement of the Prophet Muhammad PBUH:
«When any of you marries a woman he should hold her forelock, mention Allaah Most High, and pray for His blessings saying:
“O Allaah, I ask You for the good in her and the good with which You have created her, and I seek refuge in You from the evil in her and the evil with which You have created her.»
(Allaahumma innee as.aluka min khayrihaa wa khayri maa jabaltahaa’alayhi wa aa’oodhubika min sharrihaa wa sharri maa jabaltahaa’alayhi)
[Narrate by: Abu Daawood and others. al-Bukhaaree in”Af’aalul-‘Ibaa d”, Abu Daawood, Ibn Maajah, al-Haakim, al-Bayhaqee and Abu Ya’laa with hasan isnaad]
Question: What does Islam say about falling in love? Is that allowed in Islam? If it is yes, how could we show that to the person we love without causing fitnah?
Answer: Islam teaches us to be truthful and realistic. Usually, we love for the sake of Allah and we hate for the sake of Allah. Islam teaches us that a male and female can build up a good relationship founded on marriage.
We do not say love is halal or haram because it is a feeling. Maybe it is not under control. You can judge what is under control. But people who fall in love are in many episodes away from the cleansed and pure atmosphere.
Marriages that are usually good and lasting marriages are those that start at the least affection. That affection grows after marriage and maybe it will grow until the couples continue their companionship at the Jannah.
• If you will wear Hijab you will not get Married.
• If you will wear Hijab you will not get Job.
• If you will wear Hijab people will not call you Beautiful.
• If you will wear Hijab your Friends will Leave you.
• If you will wear Hijab you will Look Old.
• If you will wear Hijab you will be considered Out Dated.
• If you will wear Hijab you will not get any attention and the boys will like your classmate, who is with out a Hijab.
WHAT ELSE DOES THE SHAYTAN WHISPERS IN YOUR EARS, MY SISTERS !??
Your LORD Says : Surely, Shaitan (Satan) is an enemy to you, so take him as an enemy. He only invites his followers that they may become the dwellers of the blazing Fire.
[Translation of the Holy Quran Surrah, Faatir 35:6]
Narrated By Abu Huraira (RA):
Allah’s Prophet (p.b.u.h) said, “Treat women nicely, for a women is created from a rib, and the most curved portion of the rib is its upper portion, so, if you should try to straighten it, it will break, but if you leave it as it is, it will remain crooked. So treat women nicely.”
[Shahih Bukhari – Volume 4 – Book 55 – Hadith 548]
O Allah! Please grant me the one
Who will be the garment for my soul…
Who will satisfy half of my deen
And in doing so make me whole
Make him righteous and on your path
In all he’ll do and say
And sprinkle water on me at Fajr (Early Morning Prayer)
And spend within his means
May he seek Allah’s guidance always
To fulfill all his dreams
May he always refer to Qur’an
and the Sunnah as his moral guide
May he thank and appreciate Allah
For the woman at his side
May he be conscious of his anger
And often fast and pray
In every possible way
May he honor and protect me
And guide me in this life
And finally, O Allah!
Make him abundant in love and laughter
In taqwa and sincerity
In striving for the hereafter!
May Allah grant all the Muslim sisters with such husbands… Ameen ya rabbel alameen
Worshiping Only Allah (SWT)
The purpose of Mankind, the sole reason behind our creation, is to worship Allah Alone: “And I created not the Jinns and men except that they should worship Me (Alone).” [51: 56]
Worship has been defined by Ibn Taymiyyah as being: “a term which comprises everything that Allah (s.w.t) loves and approves of from the apparent and hidden sayings and deeds.”
The main condition for such worship to be accepted however, is that they must be solely made for the Sake of Allah, and no one else. This is the essence of Tawheed, and the Kalima itself, which declares boldly that there is no deity worthy of worship except for Allah.
And Du’a (supplication) is undoubtedly a part of worship, as Ibn Abbas said, “the best forms of worship is the du’a”
[Munthir and Ibn Haakim].
To Allah belongs certain rights, among these including to slaughter in His Name, to prostrate before no one but Him, and to direct Du’a to no one but Him. In this regard, the scholar Ibn Rajab said: “Know that it is an obligation to invoke Allah Alone in Du`a, and not His creation… Admitting (and showing) humility and meekness can only be revealed to Allah, Alone, for this is the essence of worship.”
Ibnul Qayyim said: “And from the types of Shirk, requesting needs from the dead, and Istighaathah from them and direction (of the call) to them, and this is the original of the Shirk of Mankind. Since the dead has his deeds cut off from him, and he cannot cause upon himself any good nor bad, let alone whoever seeks help from him, or asked him to seek intercession from Allah on his behalf. “
Calling upon the dead represents a hollow attempt to seek help from a creature who can benefit the caller nothing. Allah Says: “If you call upon them, they hear not your call, and if (in case) they were to hear, they could not grant it (your request) to you. And on the Day of Resurrection, they will disown your worshipping them” [35: 14]
The argument of the Quraish was similar to that of today’s people: they only invoked their idols as a means or intermediary towards reaching Allah “We only worship them so that they may bring us closer to Allah.” [39: 3]. Similarly, the Walis (saints) and Sheikhs and prophets are still called upon by those seeking need, in the hope that they could fulfil their needs. Yet This practice was never done by the Companions nor their predecessors, but rather was done by Hindus and other pagans who Muslims came in contact with during later conquests.
And if the dead could indeed help anyone, they would help themselves. Take for example Saad Bin Muath, the Sayyid (Leader) of the Ansar, upon whose death the Throne of Allah shook, this exemplary model himself faced the closing in of the grave, yet he had no power to stop this.
So the one who does this faces the torment of death, and the punishment f the grave, and dwells in Hell, for Allah says: “When our Messengers (the angels) come to them to take their souls, they will say: ‘Where are those whom you used to invoke and worship besides Allah,’they will reply, ‘They have vanished and deserted us. ‘And they will bear witness against themselves, that they were disbelievers.” [7: 37].
Yet many will swear that upon asking the dead or those far away for assistance, their du’a is answered. This is no proof for their statements however, and in reality, this is true also of other religions, who worship idols and animals and planets, for they too find their supplications an. Rather, and as the Scholars have explained, any such occurrence is merely a coincidence or an act of the Jinns who seek to deviate Muslims. They rush to fulfil their desires, thus making this act fair-seeming and correct in the eyes of the Muslim.
During the time of the Prophet, there was a hypocrite who was causing harm upon the Believers. So some of them said “Let us go to the Prophet (s.a.w) and ask him to Istagheeth (seek for the removal of harm) for us from this hypocrite.” So the Prophet (s.a.w) replied “Verily, Istighaathah cannot be requested from me, rather, from Allah.” Although it was within the Prophet’s (s.a.w) ability and power to prevent the harm from the hypocrite, and although their request was Islamically valid, he stressed on the importance of using such terms for Allah only, because of the consequent damage it could cause to the Tawheed of his Ummah, had it been used to other than Allah.
Nonetheless, a myriad of Muslims still persist in this vice, even though the Scholars of Ahlus Sunnah have agreed upon its impermissibility. Ibn Taymiyyah commented in this regard: “But whoever takes them (Sheikhs, Awliyaa’, Pirs etc..) as intermediaries between Allah and His creation… So that they are the ones to pass on to Allah the needs of His creations, since (they believe that) Allah gives the guidance and the sustenance because of their intercession, so that the people would ask them (the intermediaries), who will then ask Allah, just as the kings’ intermediaries present people’s needs to the kings because they are closer to them from the need-seeker.. Whoever takes them as intermediaries in this manner, then such person is Kaffir and Mushrik, and should be asked to repent, and should be killed if he refuses; such people are Mushabbiha (resemblers), who have resembled the Creator to His creation, and have adopted partners with Him”.
The ways of the Prophets was to call Mankind to the worship of Allah, to seek His Help in every way, for He is the All-Hearer and All-Seer: “And when My slaves ask you concerning Me, then (say) I am indeed near. I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me. So let them obey Me and believe in Me, so that they may be led aright.” [2: 186]
Why do Muslim women wear hijab?
It has been enjoined on us so that we may become pious. A pious Muslimah does whatever Allah and His Messenger have told them to do. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“O you Children of… Adam! We have bestowed on you raiment to cover your shame as well as to be an adornment to you. But the raiment of righteousness, that is the best. Such are among the Signs of Allah, that they may receive admonition.” (Quran 7:26)
“And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear therof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers, or their brothers’ sons or their sisters’ sons, or their women or the servants whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex, and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O you Believers, turn you all together towards Allah, that you may attain Bliss.” (Quran 24:31).
“O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks close round them (when they go abroad). That will be better, so that they may be recognised and not annoyed. Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful.” (Quran 33:59)
Allaah has commanded us with every action that is good for us and prohibited us from performing every action that is bad for us. Allaah orders the Muslim woman to wear the hijaab when she steps out of the security of her home or when in the presence of strange men.
So to wear the hijaab is a source of great good for you – the Muslim woman – for many reasons.
1. In Pursuit of Allaah’s Pleasure: You are obeying the commands of your Lord when you wear the hijaab and you can expect great rewards in return.
2. It is Allaah’s protection of your natural beauty. You are too precious to be “on display” for each man to see.
3. It is Allaah’s preservation of your chastity.
4. Allaah purifies your heart and mind through the hijaab.
5. Allaah beautifies your inner and outer countenance with hijaab. Outwardly your hijaab reflects innocence, purity, modesty, shyness, serenity, contentment and obedience to your Lord. Inwardly you cultivate the same.
6. Allaah defines your femininity through the hijaab. You are a woman who respects her womanhood. Allaah wants you to be respected by others, and for you to respect yourself.
7. Allaah raises your dignity through the hijaab. When a strange man looks at you, he respects you because he sees that you respect yourself.
8. Allaah protects your honour 100% through your hijaab. Men do not gaze at you in a sensual way, they do not approach you in a sensual way, and neither do they speak to you in a sensual way. Rather, a man holds you in high esteem and that is just by one glance at you!
9. Allaah gives you nobility through the hijaab. You are noble not degraded because you covered not naked.
10. Allaah demonstrates your equality as a Muslim woman through the hijaab. Your Lord bestows upon you equal worth as your male counterpart, and gives you a host of beautiful rights and liberties. You express your acceptance of these unique rights by putting on the hijaab.
11. Allaah defines your role as a Muslim woman through the hijaab. You are someone with important duties. You are a reflection of a woman of action not idle pursuits. You display your sense of direction and purpose through your hijaab. You are someone that people take seriously.
12. Allaah expresses your independence through the hijaab. You are stating clearly that you are an obedient servant of the Greatest Master. You will obey no one else and follow no other way. You are not a slave to any man, nor a slave to any nation. You are free and independent from all man-made systems.
13. Allaah gives you the freedom of movement and expression through the hijaab. You are able to move about and communicate without fear of harassment. Your hijaab gives you a unique confidence.
14. Allaah wants others to treat you – a Muslim woman – with kindness. And the hijaab brings about the best treatment of men towards you.
15. Allaah wants your beauty to be preserved and saved for just one man to enjoy – your husband.
16. Allaah helps you to enjoy a successful marriage through wearing hijaab. Because you reserve your beauty for one man alone, your husband’s love for you increases, he cherishes you more, he respects you more and he honours you more. So your hijaab contributes to a successful and lasting marriage relationship.
17. Allaah brings about peace and stability in the society through the hijaab! Yes this is true! Men do not cause corruption by forming illegal relationships because you – the Muslim woman – calm their passions. When a man looks at you, he feels at ease, not tempted to fornicate and date.
Therefore, a Muslim woman in hijaab is dignified, not dishonoured; noble, not degraded; liberated, not subjugated; purified, not sullied; independent, not a slave; protected, not exposed; respected, not laughed at; confident, not insecure; obedient, not a sinner; rather:
a guarded pearl.
And ALLAAH knows best.
Time Management from an Islamic Perspective
“Close has come to mankind his accounting. Will he still be heedless?”
The above Qur’anic verse is the beginning of Surah Ambiya, chapter 21, followed by narrations of the people who were before us, people who were destroyed on the account of their wrong doings.
Life has only one chance.
If you fail in your exams, there is always a next year. If you lose your spouse, there can be a second marriage, but if you die, there is no second chance. This life is only one opportunity.
Those who were before us had lives longer than us. The Qur’an talks about Nuh (as), that he worked among his people for 950 years; whereas the average life of this Ummah is around 60 years.
We are the last to come but the first to enter Paradise .
With this short life, we still have the opportunity of making the best.
It all depends on how you do, what you leave behind, not whatever you leave behind.
The difference between doing and wanting to do.
There are many things in life that we want to do desperately, but we are unable to do them due to various reasons. But, there are many things in our life which we can do, we are supposed to do, yet we do not do them. The list would be a long one. You can include memorizing of Qur’anic verses, visiting a dying relative or repaying you debt. You have chains of excuses because you don’t want to do these things.
Let us see how much we live actually.
If you have to live for 60 years, subtract 15 years of your boyhood where no one questions you. From the remaining 45 years, if you sleep for 8 hours a day, you have deleted 15 years in sleeping. From the remaining 30 years, if you spend 2 hours on the television, you have 2.5 years watching what other people do and nobody pays you for that. From the remaining 27 and half years of your life, you have to earn and yet find out ways for immeasurable reward from Allah.
How and where is our time wasted?
Time is wasted in minutes. E.g. waiting for a friend, at a bus-stop, chatting on useless topics.
Assemble these pieces of minutes everyday and count how many hours you waste every year.
“Let every man know what he has sent forth.“ (59:18)
1) Make a list of your time wasters even if they are a few minutes long.
2) Make a list of the things which remain unattended by you and have the potential to become a problem if you don’t give them immediate attention.
Our most productive actions.
a) Perform Isha and Fajr salaah in congregation and receive a reward of praying the whole night.
b) Do ibaadah in the nights in the last odd nights in Ramadan and earn a reward of worshipping for 1000 months. If you do it for 10 years, it will be equivalent to 833 years.
c) Keep aside one hour everyday for self- development. Suppose you choose to memorize one dua everyday for one hour, by the end of the year, you can memorize 365 duas of the Sunnah of the Prophet (P.B.H). If you want to learn Arabic for one hour every day, you have 320 hours every year if you are 80% regular in your learning. Now, without wasting time, make a list of the things you would like to learn in the next three months, 6 months, 1 year and 2 years. These are called “short term goals” and “long term goals” in terms of the corporate world.
What are your most productive Islamic activities?
This is for a continuous reward (Sawaab-e-Jaariya).
Choose from the below activities or add your own skills and talents:
a) Teach someone any aspect of Islam, be it a dua, correcting hid wudhu or his recitation of the Qur’an and lo! He keeps on doing it properly and your account keeps on increasing.
b) Talk to a non- Muslim about Islam.
c) Be a volunteer for any social cause in helping people.
d) Intercede for a good cause and have a share in it. (Surah Nisaa:85) Spot an orphan/ widow and find out a sponsor if you cannot afford it yourself.
e) By now, you must be having a lot of ideas, erupting in your own mind. Note them down just now and remember us in your supplications.
Do this to save time.
a) Always carry a good book to read.
b) If you discuss, take something worthy.
c) Help your spouse in his/ her work.
d) Visit a hospital and meet the poor and sick.
e) Visit your relatives whom you have not met for a long time.
f) Take your family to orphanages.
A list of probable time wasters.
Check out which is applicable to you:
• Sleeping more than average.
• Gossiping with friends on useless topics.
• Watching TV serials.
• Reading useless books.
• Having to wait for a long time at the bus stop.
• Have a list of pending work.
• Chatting on the internet on worthless topics.
• Being addicted to computer games.
• Free lectures due to absence of teacher in school.
“Remember, Allah has not created for idle sport the heavens and the earth and all that is between them.“
How to get the best out of this life.
How many Lailatul Qadr have you missed out? The Qur?an declares:
What do you know what is Lailatul Qadr? Lailatul Qadr is better than 1000 months?
This Quranic? Verse gives us an idea or a short- cut in earning immeasurable sawab. That is, if you worship or do ibadah in the last 5 odd nights in the month of Ramadan, by the Grace of Allah, one of them would be Lailatul Qadr. In 10 years, it is 50 days, which is lesser than 2 months and if you get 10 Lailatul Qadr in your life. You get a reward of 10,000 months which is equal to 833 years. Now calculate how many Lailatul Qadr you have missed out enjoying the night playing carom, chatting and doing useless things. Henceforth , don’t miss out any Lailatul Qadr in your life InshAllah.
A friend of mine spoke to me about his choice of a Mominah. He said, ” She should be a woman of taqwa, hijabi but then beneath her veil she should also be slim, tall, fair, modern, smart , fantastically English speaking and also modern dressed…..” I replied,” O so you are looking for a Barbie shaped Cindrella beneath the veil !”
There is an English saying.. A man goes in the search of peace and tranquillity through out the world and returns back home to find it.
If we elaborate from the Qur’anic view point we can go to Surah Rum ch 30, verse 21 : And among His signs are.. He created mates for you from yourselves so that YOU MAY FIND SUKOON IN THEM…
The word sukoon means peace, tranquility. As I say a house is built by bricks but a home is built by hearts. The same verse also elaborates this statement. .. and Allah created mawwadatun wa rahmah among them.. Mawwadatun means love, affection and care, and Rahmah means mercy. These qualities cannot be learnt in workshops and seminars. It is a monopoly of Allah to put these qualities in our hearts.No tablets no syrups just kun fayakoon.. Be and it happens.
There are four things that makes a person bestowed the best in this world and the here-after :
A Grateful Heart,
A tongue that constantly remembers Allah,
A body that bears patiently (Pyshcological, physical, finanacial and emotional ) hardships and
A Mominah wife…
All these four qualities are also essential for your matrimional life to be happy.
If you judge your spouse from the eyes of other people or from the yardsticks of materialism then you don’t possess a grateful heart , rather you will be contstantly regretting your marriage with him/her.
If you don’t remember Allah and are careless towards your duty to Allah then you can never be grateful to humans too.
If you don’t stand firmly by your spouse when he or she is going through a rough weather then you are a weak spouse and have missed out many strong things in life.
It is essential that your wife is a Mominah.
Let us understand the term mominah in the context of the abopve mentioned hadith. Allah gave the best women of that time to our beloved messenger (pbuh). Each of his wife had a unique quality that benefitted the Ummah.
Khadeejah’s wealth was thrown open for the poor in the way of Allah when very few people supported Islam. It was a unique feat that Jibrael came and greeted her !
The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) was so pleased with Aisha r.a. that he certified : Aisha my wife in this world and here-after…After the death of the Prophet Aisha r.a was a teacher of sahaba and Tabeein. She carried on the the legacy of passing on the knowledge of fiqh to the later generation.
Zainab bint Khuzaima r.a. was the most charitable among the women. She was called Ummul Masakeen.
Asma bint Abu Bakr wife of Zubair bin Awwam r.a.a. was so aware of her husband’s gheerah that she was always careful about it. Once she was walking down the hot desert with some material on her head and the Prophet (pbuh ) passed by on a camel. Seeing her plight the noble Prophet offered her the back seat of the camel but she recalled her husband’s gheerah and refused the offer (al-Bukhaari (4823) and Muslim (4050)…).Gheerah means self respect and possessiveness.
A good wife is one whose husband is pleased to see her says a popular authentic hadith. Now when does this pleasant smile become due on the face of her husband? Imagine a husband returning home tired and exhausted after a hectic day in office and strugggling traffic and finds his wife waiting with loads of complains about his mother or children or neighbors.. if this is a daily routine then ?
A nagging wife or a nagging husband rarely cause a pleasant smile. ..
A fussy husband always criticizing his wife’s style of dressing because the well dressed young lady in his office appears more impressable to him cannot generate a charm on his wife’s face. He is fussy about food and other things too. One of our biggest problem in generating happiness in our matrimonial life is that we have errected many ‘fantasy parameters’ for our happiness. These fantasies are borrowed from modern culture of glamour and richness.
A pleasant spouse (this is for both husband and wife) fits in this verse : The believing men and believing women are auliya of each other, they command good and forbid evil……Read Surah Toubah verse 71 for more details and examine if we really encourage our spouse in good things or pull him/her down? Do we stop him/her from haram or just nag and complain to our mothers and sisters and friends regarding him/her….
Moral of the Lesson?
If you want a pleasant spouse she also has a right to have a pleasant spouse.. so the search is within our selves and efforts on our selves to be qualified to be that dream spouse every Momin and Mominah craves for.…
Author : Nisaar Nadiadwala writes and speaks on soio-educational isses from Islamic perspective. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org
One day the Prophet asked his dear companions whether they knew who was poor?
They answered that poor was one who had no dirham or dinar (money)’, He said:“In my Ummah, the poor is that man who would appear on the Day of the Judgment before Allah; he had offered prayer; he had paid Zakat ; he had observed fast; but he would have abused somebody, he would have falsely accused some one; he would have unauthorisedly taken some one else’s property; he would have murdered some one; would have hit some body.
All his virtues would be given to his victims. If his virtues are finished before his wicked deeds are finished, then the errors and sins of the victims would be given to him and he would be thrown into the Hell.” (Muslim)
Women Rights in Islam – (1) Mothers’ Rights
Islam has greatly emphasized the topic of affectionate, caring, devoting and respecting the parents, the mother and the father. In our babyhood and childhood, we essentially required the defense, feel affection, development and cultivation from our parents. On the other hand, when our parents become old, they need us to look after them and take care of them.
For more than 1400 years ago, the Prophet Muhammad said:” The paradise is under the feet of the mothers”.
“Your Lord has decreed that you shall not worship (anyone) but Allah and that you be kind and good to the parents. If either or both of them reach old age while they are with you, say not to them a word of contempt, (so much as) ‘Ugh’ nor chide them, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor and generous words. And, out of kindness and mercy, lower for them ‘the wings of humility’ out of mercy; and pray; and say ‘O my Lord! Bestow on them thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood. ” (Surah 17:23-24).
This means not saying anything that may contain the slightest hint of irritation. [The word ‘uff’ (like ‘Ugh’) in the verse, translated here as ‘a word of disrespect’] comes from the word ‘aff’, which is similar to the word ‘taff’; both words refer to the dirt that collects under fingernails, and [in Arabic] when one is annoyed and fed up with something, one says ‘uff!’ to it.
Mother’ Rights is three times than father’!
Nevertheless, out of the two parents, the mother has been given superior preference as far as compassion and sympathy is concerned.
This story illustrates that:
A man came to the Prophet Muhammad and asked:
The man:” To whom should I be kind?”
The Prophet replied, “Your mother.”
The man asked, “Then to whom?”
The Prophet said, “Your mother.”
The man asked, “Then to whom?”
The Prophet replied, “Your mother.”
Then the man asked the fourth time that, “Then to whom?”
The Prophet replied, “Your father.”
This give you an idea about that the right of mother upon the children is three times more than the rights of father as far as kindness, compassion and sympathy are concerned.
The indispensable mother,
Listen to Imam Ali Ben Hussein, the great-grandson of the Prophet, who said:
“Coming to the rights of relatives, it is the right of your mother that you:
– Should appreciate that she carried you (in her uterus) as nobody carries anybody,
– And fed you the fruits of her heart which nobody feeds anybody,
-and protected you (during pregnancy) with her ears, hands, legs, hair, limbs, with her whole being, gladly, cheerfully and carefully; suffering patiently all the fears, pains, difficulties and sorrowfulness (of pregnancy), till the hand of Allah separate you from her and brought you into this world.”
-”Then she was most happy feeding you, even if she herself had no clothes; giving you milk and water; not caring for her own thirst; keeping you in the shade, even if she had to suffer from the heat of the sun; giving you every comfort with her own hardship; lulling you to sleep while keeping herself awake.”
“And remember that
Her uterus was your home,
And her lap your refuge,
And her breast your feeder,
And her whole existence your protection;
It was she, not you, who was braving the heat and cold of this world for your safety.”
“Therefore, you must remain thankful, grateful and indebted to her accordingly”
What a piece of art that should be taught and educated to all the kids in schools!
You will be asked about womb
O mankind! Reverence your Guardian-Lord, who created you from a single Person, created, of like nature, his mate, and from them twain scattered (like seeds) countless men and women; fear Allah, through Whom ye demand your mutual (rights), and (reverence) the wombs (the uterus that bore you): for Allah ever watches over you. (Surah 4:1)
This means that you are going to be asked about what you have done to the uterus which gave you the life (i.e. your mother)
What if the mother is non believer or agnostic?
Allah says: “And Allah have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years – give thanks to ME and to your parents, – unto Me is the final destination. But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to ME will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.” (Surah 31:14-15)
Allah has obligated the good treatment of parents that are agnostic. Giving them respect and kindness, in spite of the heinous sin which they are telling their child to commit, which is the crime of associating something in worship with Allah. What then do you think is the case with Muslim parents, especially if they are righteous?
By Allah, their rights are among the most important and most certain rights, and fulfilling these rights in a proper manner is one of the most difficult and most important duties. The one who is guided to do this is truly guided, and the one who is not helped to do this is truly deprived.
Be devoted to your parents
Allah has commanded us to treat our parents well and He has linked this to the command to worship Him and the prohibition of associating anything in worship with Him. The rights of the mother in this regard have been emphasized more than those of the father.
“And remember We took a Covenant from the Children of Israel (to this effect): worship none but Allah; treat with kindness your parents and kindred, and orphans and those in need; speak fair to the people; be steadfast in prayer; And practice regular charity. Then did ye turn back, except a few among you, and ye backslide (even now).” (Surah 2:83].
This means treating them with respect and kindness, and lowering the wing of humility to them, not answering them harshly or glaring at them, not raising one’s voice to them, but being as humble towards them as a slave towards his master.
You have to be patient with your mother and put up with the harsh treatment on her part, which at times maybe upsetting to you. By treating her with respect and dealing with her kindly, you will earn her good pleasure and love. Try to avoid things that will provoke her and make her angry, even if they are in your interests, without causing harm to yourself.
The mother’s rights over her child
The mother has rights throughout her life and also when she died
The mother has many major rights over her child. These rights are innumerable, but we may conclude her the following:
(1) Love and respect, as much as possible, because she is the most deserving of people of her son’s good companionship.
(2) Taking care of her and looking after her affairs if she needs that; this is a debt that rests on the child’s shoulders. Did she not take care of him when he was a child and stay up with him at night and bear it all with patience?
“We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents: in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth. The carrying of the (child) to his weaning is (a period of) thirty months. At length, when he reaches the age of full strength and attains forty years, he says: “O my Lord! Grant me that I may be grateful for Thy favor which Thou hast bestowed upon me, and upon both my parents, and that I may work righteousness such as Thou mayest approve; and be gracious to me in my issue. Truly have I turned to Thee and truly do I bow (to Thee) in Islam.” (Surah 46:15)
(3) Not offending her or saying or doing anything that they dislike.
If Allah has forbidden us even to say “uff” [paraphrased as “a word of disrespect” in the translation of the meaning of the verse] to our parents, then how about someone who hits them?!
(4) Spending on her if she is in need and does not have a husband who can spend on her or if her husband is poor; for the righteous, spending on one’s mother and feeding her is more precious than feeding their own children.
(5) Obeying her when she tells you to do something good. But if she tells you to do something bad, such as shirk, then there should be no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience to the Creator.
However, still the mother has rights after her death
(1) After one’s mother dies, it is essential to fulfill any vows that she had made, and to give charity and perform good things on her behalf.
(2) After she dies, it is also mandatory to honor her by maintaining ties with those whom she used to keep in touch with, such as her relatives and friends.
And herein is the golden saying about the mother’ rights in few words,
The mother is your way to the heaven
For more than 1400 years ago, the Prophet Muhammad said:” The paradise is under the feet of the mothers”.
These are the mothers’ rights in Islam.
Women In Christianity And Islam
Whenever the topic of Islam is brought up among Westerners, it has been my experience that the first objection that immediately springs into their minds is: “But women are so extremely oppressed in Islam.”
And, “But women are second class citizens in Islam.” For example, they see that Muslim women usually observe modest standards in their clothing and they automatically equate their modesty with oppression.
They appear to feel that freedom is in some way directly proportional to how little clothing one wears and that oppression is directly proportional to the degree of modesty one exhibits in their clothing. Although this topic does not directly relate to the main topic of this book, still it seems inevitable to touch on this subject even if only very briefly, due to it’s importance.
The problem is twofold: First of all, people who make such objections usually only have A very superficial knowledge of the true teachings of Islam, and secondly, they do not realize what The Bible requires of all believing women.
I was once passing through Canada with in laws and their family. As we walked down the street, a Canadian Christian girl (in her late teens-perhaps early twenties) passed by us with a group of her friends. She looked at my mother in law who was dressed in modest clothing and had a large scarf wrapped around her head such that only her face was showing. She then stopped my mother in law and said words to the effect of: “Why do you allow your men to oppress you? Why do you wear these clothes?”
Now, my mother in law is a university graduate, a straight A student, highly respected by her peers, and gainfully employed as an inspector of the public educational system back in my home country. My mother in law has also distinguished herself in her study of the English language and it’s grammatical structure. However, she did not have an extensive working knowledge of American and Canadian pronunciation and slang, and thus, she missed the tone with which this question was delivered to her.
I decided to move a reasonable distance away, and let her handle this situation herself. My mother in law was very happy to answer this girl’s question and went on to explain to her about our religion and customs and how we prefer to dress modestly, and that Allah Almighty requires us to do this. However, this was not the answer this girl was looking for so she retorted: “Thanks for sharing!,” then spun around and stormed off.
Now, in my home country, our elders are quite used to being highly respected by those who are younger than them and being served by them. For this reason, it did not even occur to my mother in law that this question could have been anything more than a young girl respectfully asking an innocent question of a trusted elder, and I hated to tell her otherwise. I would have hated for her to leave Canada thinking that all Canadians or all Christians speak this way to their elders, since I know that this is not the true case. However, this episode did indeed sadden me.
Many non-Muslims feel sorry for any Muslim women they see adorned in their modest clothing. They feel that they are deprived the freedom to roam around in more scant and revealing clothing. Anyone who lives in a manner other that which they have become accustomed to is seen by them to be oppressed and forced to live in this manner. There are certain tribes in the Amazon jungle, in Australia, and in Africa, which have become accustomed to walking around in a simple g-string around their waist. What would the people of the West say if these people were to condemn the Western habit of “forcing” their women to wear “excessive amounts of clothing” and to demand that all women in the west immediately stop wearing anything but the simplest g-string around their waist? What if they were to say that the Western society should immediately stop unjustly persecuting their women and preventing them from freely roaming the streets wearing only a pair of socks? They would say that the people making these demands have no morals or shame. Philosophers would have a field day with such a question.
What if someone were to claim that it was immoral, discriminatory, and unjust to separate men and women indifferent public bathrooms the same as it is not just to do so with blacks and whites. What if this person were to then call (in the interest of equality, fairness, and constitutional freedom of course) for a merging of men and women’s bathrooms into one “unisex” or “equal-opportunity” bathrooms for both men and women? Once again, the philosophers would have a field day. Anyone who follows the news will see that this may indeed be where the USA is now headed. In the New York Post (31 Aug. 1994 or a little before) it was reported that women have now won the right to appear topless in the New York subway system. Where will the USA be a few years from now? That is anyone’s guess.
Who has the power to determine what decent and modest clothing is? Who is to determine what decent and modest behavior is? Muslims assign this right to God alone. This is the essence of “Islam.” “Islam” means “The submission to the will of God.” What God commands, a Muslim does. They do not demand that God justify his commands before they accept them. Once they have verified that a command is indeed from God then they abide by it without hesitation.
We can indeed find this lesson in the story of Adam. In the Islamic version of the story of Adam (slightly different than that of Judaism/Christianity), Adam and Eve were created by God, educated, clothed, and then allowed to inhabit heaven. They were told by God that they could have anything their hearts desired except they must not eat from the tree. Out of envy, the devil encouraged them to eat from the tree and told them that its fruit would make them angles or immortal. They ate from the tree and immediately, their bodies were revealed to one another, so they took to scooping up the leaves off the trees in order to cover themselves. This is when Allah sent them down to earth. What mankind learned from this lesson is that just because a person does not know the wisdom behind a command of God, and others tell him to disobey it, by the time the reason for the command is made apparent to them it may be too late.
Example of dress worn by a Christian nun. Compare it with how Muslim women dress today.
Well then, what is the Biblical view on these matters? Actually, even in this day and age there still remain traces in Christianity of the common ancestry with Islam in regard to the accepted norms of modest dress for Christian women as ordained by her Creator. In the above figure we have an example of the sort of dress codes observed by Christian nuns. We are strangely amazed to find that it is almost the striking similarity it bears to the sort of outfit, which most Muslim women wear. Why is that? Well, although there are quite a number of very pronounced differences between Biblical and Qur’anic laws in this regard, let us start with the following:
What the New Testament has to say:
1 Timothy 2:11-14 “Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.”
1 Corinthians 14:34 “Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.”
1 Corinthians 11:5-10: “But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven. For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered. For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, for as much as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels.”
1 Corinthians 11:13: “Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God (with her head) uncovered?”
What the Old Testament has to say:
Genesis 3:12-16 “And the man (Adam) said, The woman (Eve) whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat. And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat. And the LORD God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life: And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel. Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.”
Leviticus 12:2-5 “Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, If a woman have conceived seed, and born a MALE child: then she shall be unclean SEVEN DAYS; according to the days of the separation for her infirmity shall she be unclean. And in the eighth day the flesh of his foreskin shall be circumcised. And she shall then continue in the blood of her purifying THIRTY THREE days; she shall touch no hallowed thing, nor come into the sanctuary, until the days of her purifying be fulfilled. But if she bear a FEMALE child, then she shall be unclean TWO WEEKS, as in her separation: and she shall continue in the blood of her purifying SIXTY SIX days.“
Ecclesiastics 7:26-28 “And I find more bitter than death the woman who is a snare, whose heart is a trap and whose hands are chains. The man who pleases God will escape her, but the sinner she will ensnare….while I was still searching but not finding, I found one upright man among a thousand but not one upright woman among them all”.
Leviticus 15:19-30 “And if a woman have an issue (her period/menses), [and] her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart seven days: and whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean until the even.
And every thing that she lieth upon in her separation shall be unclean: every thing also that she sitteth upon shall be unclean. And whosoever toucheth her bed shall wash his clothes, and bathe [himself] in water, and be unclean until the even. And whosoever toucheth any thing that she sat upon shall wash his clothes, and bathe [himself] in water, and be unclean until the even. And if it [be] on [her] bed, or on any thing whereon she sitteth, when he toucheth it, he shall be unclean until the even. And if any man lie with her at all, and her flowers be upon him, he shall be unclean seven days; and all the bed whereon he lieth shall be unclean. And if a woman have an issue of her blood many days out of the time of her separation, or if it run beyond the time of her separation; all the days of the issue of her uncleanness shall be as the days of her separation: she [shall be] unclean. Every bed whereon she lieth all the days of her issue shall be unto her as the bed of her separation: and whatsoever she sitteth upon shall be unclean, as the uncleanness of her separation. And whosoever toucheth those things shall be unclean, and shall wash his clothes, and bathe [himself] in water, and be unclean until the even. But if she be cleansed of her issue, then she shall number to herself seven days, and after that she shall be clean. And on the eighth day she shall take unto her two turtles, or two young pigeons, and bring them unto the priest, to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. And the priest shall offer the one [for] a sin offering, and the other [for] a burnt offering; and the priest shall make an atonement for her before the LORD for the issue of her uncleanness.” SEE ALSO WOMEN IN THE BIBLE
In other words, the Bible teaches us that:
1. Women should learn in silence and subjugation.
2. Women should not teach.
3. Women should not have authority over men but should remain silent.
4. Adam and Eve were not equal in sin. Adam was not deceived but Eve was.
5. Women are commanded to be under obedience to men. God ordained that men shall for all time rule over women
6.Women must keep silent in Churches. It is shameful for them to open their mouths therein. If they have a question they should ask their husbands before going to church and then their husbands will ask for them in the church.
7. A woman should neither pray nor profess with her head uncovered.
8. If a woman prays with her head uncovered then she might as well shave her head.
9. Man was created in the image and glory of God, and Woman was created in the glory of Man, thus Man must have power over her.
10. Any woman who delivers a male baby shall be unclean for one week. But any woman who delivers a female baby shall be unclean for TWO weeks. Thus, females make their mothers DOUBLY unclean as compared to males.
11. While it is possible to find one upright man in every thousand, it is impossible to find even one single upright woman in every thousand
12. Woman is a snare, her heart is a trap, and her hands are chains. The man who pleases God will escape her, but she will ensnare the sinner.
13. If a woman had her period and touches a chair or a bed or anything else then that item immediately becomes unclean. Anyone who then touches those things shall also become unclean. They must then bathe themselves and wash their clothes because they have touched an item that a menstruous woman has touched.
What the canonized saints of Christianity said about women:
“Woman is a daughter of falsehood, a sentinel of Hell, the enemy of peace; through her Adam lost paradise” (St. John Demascene)
“Woman is the instrument which the devil uses to gain possession of our souls” (St. Cyprian)
“Woman is the fountain of the arm of the devil, her voice is the hissing of the serpent” (St. Anthony)
“Woman has the poison of an asp, the malice of a dragon” (St. Gregory)
St. Tertullian, while he was talking to his ‘best beloved sisters’ in the faith, he said, “Do you not know that you are each an Eve? The sentence of God on this sex of yours lives in this age: the guilt must of necessity live too. You are the Devil’s gateway: You are the unsealer of the forbidden tree: You are the first deserter of the divine law: You are she who persuaded him whom the devil wasn’t valiant enough to attack. You destroyed so easily God’s image, man.” Once again, St. Augustine wrote to a friend, “What is the difference whether it is in a wife or a mother; it is still Eve the temptress that we must beware of in any woman.”
Centuries later, St. Thomas Aquinas still considered women as defective, “As regards the individual nature, woman is defective and misbegotten, for the active force in the male seed tends to the production of a perfect likeness in the masculine sex; while the production of woman comes from a defect in the active force or from some material indisposition, or even from some external influence.”
Orthodox Jewish men in their daily morning prayer recite “Blessed be God King of the universe that Thou has not made me a woman.” The women, on the other hand, thank God every morning for “making me according to Thy will”
According to the Jewish Talmud, “women are exempt from the study of the Torah.” In the first century C.E.,Rabbi Eliezer said: “If any man teaches his daughter Torah it is as though he taught her lechery”
According to Rabbi Dr. Menachem M. Brayer (Professor of Biblical Literature at Yeshiva University) in his book ‘The Jewish woman in Rabbinic literature’, it was the custom of Jewish women to go out in public with a head covering which, sometimes, even covered the whole face leaving one eye free. He quotes some famous ancient Rabbis saying, “It is not like the daughters of Israel to walk out with heads uncovered” and “Cursed be the man who lets the hair of his wife be seen…a woman who exposes her hair for self-adornment brings poverty.” Rabbinic law forbids the recitation of blessings or prayers in the presence of a bareheaded married woman since uncovering the woman’s hair is considered “nudity” . Dr. Brayer also mentions, that “During the Tannaitic period the Jewish woman’s failure to cover her head was considered an affront to her modesty. When her head was uncovered she might be fined four hundred zuzim for this offense.” Dr. Brayer also explains that veil of the Jewish woman wasn’t always considered a sign of modesty. Sometimes, the veil symbolized a state of distinction and luxury rather than modesty. The veil personified the dignity and superiority of noble women. It, also, represented a woman’s inaccessibility as a sanctified possession of her husband. It is clear in the Old Testament that uncovering a woman’s head was a great disgrace and that’s why the priest had to uncover the suspected adulteress in her trial by ordeal (Numbers 5:16-18).
St. Tertullian in his famous treatise ‘On the Veiling of Virgins’ wrote, “Young women, you wear your veils out on the streets, so you should wear them in the church, you wear them when you are among strangers, then wear them among your brothers…” Among the Canon laws of the Catholic Church today, there is a law that require women to cover their heads in church.
Some Christian denominations, such as the Amish and the Mennonites for example, keep their women veiled to the present day. The reason for the veil, as offered by their Church leaders, is “The head covering is a symbol of woman’s subjection to the man and to God”: The same logic introduced by St. Paul in the New Testament.
Russian Orthodox women are expected to wear a head covering when in the church. Most don’t outside of it in America, but many in Russia do, along with women in other eastern Orthodox countries Europe.
These are only a small sampling. For many more similar quotations please obtain a copy of the 70 page book”Women in Islam Versus Women in the Judaeo-Christian Tradition: The Myth & The Reality,” By Dr. Sherif Abdel Azeem, World Assembly of Muslim Youth.
Furthermore, according to the Old Testament, a childless widow must marry her husband’s brother, even if he is already married and regardless of her consent, so that she might bear a child from him (Genesis 38).
Additionally, according to the Bible:
“If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay the girl’s father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the girl, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives” Deuteronomy 22:28-30
One must ask a simple question here, who is really punished, the man who raped the woman or the woman who was raped? What is to prevent someone from finding the best looking woman in town, raping her, telling everyone about it, and then having the courts force her to be his wife for the rest of her life?
According to Numbers 27:1-11, widows and sisters don’t inherit at all. Daughters can inherit only if their deceased father had no sons.
So what is the standpoint of the Qur’an with regard to women? Women are indeed commanded by Allah to cover their heads and wear modest clothing, however, in Islam this is not a sign of denigration or subjugation to men, rather, it is a sign of chastity, modesty, and the fear of God. It also designates this woman to all men who might deal with her that she is to be dealt with respect. This could be compared to the situation in the West when one meets a nun or priest, how the nun’s habit and the priest’s robes signal those who meet them, that this person does not condone vulgarity of speech or evil actions.
This is made apparent in the Noble Qur’an in Surrah Al-Ahzab:
“… that is closer to their being recognized so that they shall not be abused, and Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful”
[Al-Ahzab(33):59, (also see Noor(24):31)]
What about the rights of women in Islam?
Are they indeed, as the popular propaganda would have us believe, “second class citizens”? Let us read the Qur’an:
“And they (women) have rights similar to those of men over them in a just manner.”
(The Noble Qur’an, Al-Baqarah(2):228)
“And their Lord has heard them (and He says): Verily! I suffer not the work of any worker, male or female, to be lost. You proceed one from another. So those who fled and were driven forth from their homes and suffered damage for My cause, and fought and were slain, verily I shall remit their evil deeds from them and verily I shall bring them into Gardens underneath which rivers flow. A reward from Allah. And with Allah is the fairest of rewards.”
(Translation of The Noble Qur’an, A’al-Umran(3):195)
“And covet not the thing in which Allah has made some of you excel others. Unto men a fortune from that which they have earned, and unto women a fortune from that which they have earned. (Envy not one another) but ask Allah of His bounty. Verily! Allah is Knower of all things.”
(Translation of The Noble Qur’an, Al-Nissa(4):32)
“Unto the men (of a family) belongs a share of that which parents and near kindred leave, and unto the women a share of that which parents and near kindred leave, whether it be little or much, a legal share.”
(Translation of The Noble Qur’an, Al-Nissa(4):77)
“And whoso does good works, whether of male or female, and he (or she) is a believer, such will enter paradise and they will not be wronged the dint in a date stone.”
(The Noble Qur’an, Al-Nissa(4):124)
“And the believers, men and women, are protecting friends one of another; they enjoin the right and forbid the wrong, and they establish worship and they pay the poor-due, and they obey Allah and His messenger. As for these, Allah will have mercy on them. Lo! Allah is Mighty, Wise.”
(The Noble Qur’an, Al-Tauba(9):71)
“Whosoever does right, whether male or female, and is a believer, him verily We shall quicken with good life, and We shall pay them a recompense in proportion to the best of what they used to do.”
(The Noble Qur’an, Al-Nahil(16):97)
“And of His signs is this: He created for you spouses from yourselves that you might find tranquility in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo, herein indeed are signs for folk who reflect.”
(Translation of the The Noble Qur’an, Al-Room(30):21)
“Whoso does an ill deed, he will be repaid the like thereof, while whoso does right, whether male or female, and is a believer, (all) such will enter the Garden, where they will be nourished without stint.”
(Translation of The Noble Qur’an, Mumin(40):40)
In the Qur’an, both, Adam and Eve share the blame for eating from the tree. This can be seen in the Qur’an in such verses as Al-Baqarah(2):36, Al-A’araf(7):22-24.
They were also both forgiven by God Almighty for this sin. Actually, in one verse of the Qur’an (Taha(20):121), Adam is specifically blamed.
Islam encourages spouses to take each other’s council and to seek mutual agreement in matters which affect them, for example, in the Qur’an, Al-Bakarah(2):233 we read: “Mothers shall suckle their children for two whole years; (that is) for those who wish to complete the suckling. The duty of feeding and clothing nursing mothers in a seemly manner is upon the father of the child. No one should be charged beyond their capacity. A mother should not be made to suffer because of her child, nor should he to whom the child is born (be made to suffer) because of his child.
And on the (father’s) heir is incumbent the like of that (which was incumbent on the father). If they desire to wean the child by mutual consent and (after) consultation, it is no sin for them; and if you wish to give your children out to nurse, it is no sin for you, provided that you pay what is due from you in kindness. Observe your duty to Allah, and know that Allah is Seer of what you do.”
Husbands are commanded to treat their wives with kindness and respect. In Al-Nissa(4)-19 we read “…But consort with them in kindness, for if you hate them it may happen that you hate a thing wherein Allah has placed much good.”
The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said: “The best believers are the best in conduct, and the best of you are those who are best to their wives.” When Muhammad (pbuh) first became the prophet of Islam, the Pagans of Arabia had inherited a similar disregard for woman as had been passed down among their Jewish and Christian neighbors. It was considered so disgraceful among them to be blessed with a female child that they would go so far as to bury this baby alive in order to avoid the disgrace associated with female children.
Through the teachings of Islam, Muhammad (pbuh) put a swift and resounding end to this evil practice. Not only did he severely discourage and condemn this act but he also used to teach them to respect and cherish their daughters and mothers as partners and sources of salvation for the men of their family:
AbuSa’id al-Khudri narrated: “The Prophet (pbuh) said: If anyone cares for three daughters, disciplines them, marries them (to other men), and does good by them, he will enter Paradise.” (Narrated by Abu-Dawood)
Abdullah the son of Abbas narrated: “The Prophet (pbuh) said: If anyone has a female child, and does not bury her alive, or slight her, or prefer his male children over her, Allah will bring him into Paradise.” (Narrated by Abu-Dawood)
Muhammad (pbuh) is also sited in “Sahih Muslim” as saying:
“Whoever maintains two girls till they attain maturity, he and I will come on the Day of Resurrection like this; and he joined his fingers”.
In other words, if one loves the messenger of Allah and wishes to be with him on the day of resurrection in heaven, then they should do good by their daughters.
The woman in Hijab is the wife of Hashim Amla (South African Cricket Player). MA SHA ALLAH! Love her confidence.
May Allah Subhana Taala Bless her and reward her. Ameen Suma Ameen
✿ A woman modestly dressed is like a pearl in its shell.
✿ The value of a woman rests in her level of Taqwa (Piousness) and good deeds, not in her apparent looks and wordly earnings.
♥ ALHAMDULILLAH ♥
To learn more about the rights of women in Islam, the issue of modest dress codes, the issue of polygamy, and many other issues which can not be covered here, I highly recommend the following books:
1.Women in Islam Versus Women in the Judaeo-Christian Tradition: The Myth & The Reality, By Dr.
Sherif Abdel Azeem, World Assembly of Muslim Youth.
2.“The Status of Women in Islam,” by Dr. Jamal A. Badawi, World Assembly of Muslim Youth.
3.“Women’s rights in Islam,” by Lea Zaitoun, World Assembly of Muslim Youth.
4.“Gender Equity in Islam,” by Dr. Jamal Badawi, World Assembly of Muslim Youth.
Brayer M. Menachem. Psychosocial Perspective (New Jersey: Ktav Publishing House, 1986)
Henning M. Clara. ” Cannon Law and the Battle of the Sexes” in Rosemary R. Ruether, (Ed), Religion and Sexism: Images of Woman in the Jewish and Christian Traditions, (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1974)
Kendath Thena. “Memories of an Orthodox youth” in Susannah Heschel (Ed.) On being a Jewish Feminist, (New York: Schocken Books, 1983)
Kraybill B. Donald. The riddle of the Amish Culture (Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press,1989)
Swidler J. Leonard. Women in Judaism: the Status of Women in Formative Judaism, Metuchen, (N.J: Scarecrow Press, 1976)
Marriage in Islam: Considered from a Legal Point of View
From a legal point of view Islam views marraige as an ‘Aqd or Contract.
Like any other contract the marriage contract requires full and free consent of the parties concerned. The parents or guardian of any of the parties may give advice, choose a marriage partner or use persuasion, but the final decision to enter into a marriage must be the result of a free choice on the part of each partner, even though this freely made choice may consist of nothing but accepting the choice of one’s parents or guardian. This right of free choice is fairly well recognized in the case of men but (unfortunately) not in the case of women. In the Holy Qur’an we read:
“Do not inherit women against their will” (4:19)
And in Hadith we find traditions like the following:
“Khansa bint Khidhan who had a previous marriage related that when her father married her and she disapproved of that, she went to the Messenger of God and he revoked her marriage.”
(Bukhari, Ibn Majah)
“A [girl who was not married] came to the Messenger of God and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so the Prophet allowed her to exercise her choice.”
(Abu Da’ud, on the authority of Ibn ‘Abbas)
Just as any adult can enter into any legal contract, so also any adult man or woman can arrange his or her own marriage, provided that during the process of arranging the marriage there is no sexual contact, in other words, there is no dating in the North American style. It is well known that Khadijah, the Prophet’s first wife arranged her own marriage with the Prophet. It is true that this happened before sayyadna Muhammad received prophethood. But if an arrangement by a woman of her own marriage were so shameful in the eyes of Allah as it is in the eyes of some Muslims, then He would have somehow prevented His Messenger from such a marriage. Moreover, there are some ahadith which show that even after receiving prophethood sayyadna Muhammad did not disapprove of women arranging their own marriage.We quote here one such hadith:
“A woman came to the Messenger of God and offered herself to him (in marriage). When she had stood for a long time (without receiving an answer) a man got up and said: Messenger of God! Marry her to me if you have no need of her. He asked the man if he had anything to give her as dower (marriage gift), and when he replied that he had nothing but the lower garment he was wearing, the Prophet said: Look for something, even though it be an iron ring. Then when the man had searched and found nothing, God’s Messenger asked him whether he new anything of the Qur’an. When the man replied that he knew Surah so and so and Surah so and so, God’s Messenger said: Go away, I give her to you in marriage. Teach her some of the Qur’an.
“(Bukhari and Muslim on the authority of Sahl bin Sa’d)
In this hadith a woman is arranging her own marriage but the Prophet does not rebuke her or admonish her in any other way. Thus while it may not be the best thing for a woman to do, she can if she wishes, make a marriage proposal for herself without being blameworthy in the eyes of God.What are the terms involved in the marriage contract? This contract involves two things: First, a gift from the husband to the wife, which may be a sum of money, an object of some value such as a ring or such non-material things as acceptance of Islam or teaching a part of the Qur’an(1). Second, a commitment from both parties to try to make life physically comfortable for each other and to provide emotional, psychological and spiritual happiness to each other, with the responsibility for taking care of economic needs generally falling on the shoulders of the man.(2)
At the time of the marriage both partners should have the fullest possible intention of keeping the marriage commitment for life, although under some extreme circumstances it may perhaps be possible to enter into a marriage contract on a temporary basis.(3)
Even though the marriage commitment is for life, should it so happen that after marriage the two partners find it impossible to live together the Islamic law provides for the termination of the marriage contract. The termination of the marriage contract can be initiated by any party which has decided that the other party cannot or will not satisfactorily fulfill the commitment implicit in the marriage contract, namely, to provide enough physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual happiness. It is evident that the judgment as to whether a marriage partner is getting enough satisfaction out of his or her marriage is a subjective one and therefore belongs entirely to the partner himself or herself. Consequently, for the dissolution of marriage Islam does not require that a partner prove to some authority such as a court that there has indeed been a failing on the part of the other partner in the fulfillment of his or her marital obligations. It is enough for the dissatisfied partner to say that he or she can no longer love or respect the other partner to be able to continue living with him or her. Third parties such as relatives, the community, etc. can and indeed should (4:35) get involved at some stage of marriage difficulties and try to prevent the break-up of the marriage through counseling, etc.; but they cannot oblige any marriage partner to remain in the marriage bond, as for example the catholic church or the Hindu tradition that obliges couples to remain tied in marriage until one of the partners dies.
A man can on his own dissolve the marriage by following a prescribed procedure, the details of which need not concern us here. A woman can dissolve the marriage by asking the husband to divorce her and if he refuses can go to court which should arrange the terms of dissolution as regards to compensation and order the husband to dissolve the marriage.(4) To avoid this procedure the woman can include in the marriage contract the condition that she can dissolve the marriage without having to go to court.
The party which initiates the divorce may have to pay some compensation to the other party. This compensation may be the return of the marriage gift in the case of a woman initiating the divorce(5) and payment of an alimony in the case of a man taking that step.
(6) Again, the details of these matters are out of the scope of this article.
The degree by which the husband has greater right
In the above outline of the legal view of marriage in Islam, man and women are completely equal partners except in the following respects:
1) Both parties make the equal responsibility to provide physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual happiness to each other, but men generally have the added responsibility to provide for the economic needs of the wife.
2) In case the husband initiates divorce, he is obliged by religious law to pay some maintenance expenses (2:241). This prescribed alimony belongs to the wife by right. However, when the woman initiates the divorce she does not pay any compensation to the husband as requirement of religious law; she need at most return part of what she received from the husband as dower if such payment is helpful in an amicable settlement. (2:229)
3) A man can divorce his wife on his own while a woman needs to go through court or introduce into the marriage a clause giving her the right to divorce her husband.
In regard to the above differences the Holy Qur’an says:
“And (wives) shall have rights similar to those (the husbands have) over them, in accordance with justice, (except that) husbands’ rights are a degree greater.” (2:228)”Husbands are guardians (qawwamun) of wives because God has favoured some more than others and because they (i.e. husbands generally) spend out of their wealth.” (4:34)
The first of the above two Qur’anic statements occurs in a long passage dealing with divorce and should be understood in relation to that context. The degree by which husband’s rights are greater should therefore be understood as the degree by which the husband is freer than the wife to break the marriage bond. This, however, is not a very big degree since as stated earlier the wife can get out of the marriage bond whenever she wants to, practically without giving any reason. It is only that she has to follow a more indirect procedure.The second Qur’anic statement refers to the greater responsibility husbands generally have as protectors and providers of women and to the greater say this gives them in making decisions.
The fact that husbands’ rights are a degree greater does not effect the claim that in Islam men and women have equal rights, since men’s greater rights within the marriage relationship do not mean that men also enjoy greater rights outside that relationship and since within the marriage relationship men’s greater rights are completely justified by their greater responsibility. We must remember here that whenever we talk about members of a society having equal rights it is never precluded that members of that society cannot freely enter into terminable arrangements in which some take greater responsibility and therefore also have greater rights. Equality of rights can only be asserted on the assumption of equality of responsibility. This principle sometimes works in favour of women. For example, as mothers women give much more to children than do men as fathers and so Islam recognizes greater rights of mothers over children than of fathers except where economic considerations demand otherwise.
(1) See the hadith quoted earlier in which the dower for marriage consists of the husband teaching a portion of the Holy Qur’an to the wife. In the following hadith it consists of the husband accepting Islam:
“Umm Sulaym had become a Muslim before Abu Talha and when he asked her in marriage she said: “I have become a Muslim. so if you also become one I shall marry you.” Abu Talha accepted Islam and that was the dower arranged between them.” (Nasa’i on the authority of Anas)
This hadith also supports the view that men and women can arrange their own marriage.
(2) See Qur’an 4:34. The wife can, however, with her own free will choose to share part of the economic burden. Khadijah helped the Prophet and Asma, the daughter of Abu Bakr, helped her poor husband Zubayr.
(3) This is the shi’a view. Sunni traditions admit that temporary marriage was at some point in time allowed in Islam but say that this was later forbidden.
(4) See Qur’an 2:229 in the light of the following hadith:
“The wife of Thabit bin Qays came to the Prophet and said, “Messenger of God, I do not reproach Thabit bin Qays in respect of character or religion but I do not want to be guilty of kufran regarding Islam (meaning that she did not like him enough as a marriage partner and so was afraid she might not give him the respect and love due to a husband).” God’s Messenger asked her if she would give back to Thabit his garden, and when she replied that she would, he told him to accept the garden and declare the divorce.” (Bukhari, Nasa’i, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah and Bayhaqi, on the authority of Ibn Abbas)
(5) See the hadith quoted in the previous note. The wife is not obligated by religious law to pay the compensation and need only do so as part of a settlement with the husband. (Qur’an 2:229)(6) “For divorced women a reasonable maintenance (should be provided). This is a duty on the righteous.” (Qur’an 2:241)
by Dr. Ahmad Shafaat (1984)
From now until the rest of your days your wife will be your partner, your companion, and your best friend.
She will share your moments, your days, and your years. She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears. When you are ill, she will take the best care of you; when you need help, she will do all she can for you; when you have a secret, she will keep it; when you need advice, she will give you the best advice. She will always be with you: when you wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will see will be hers; during the day, she will be with you, if for some time she is not with you by her physical body, she will be thinking of you, praying for you with all her heart, mind, and soul;
when you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will be her; and when you are asleep you will still see her in your dreams. In short, she will be your whole world and you will be her whole world.
The best description that I personally have ever read describing the closeness of the spouses to each other is the Qur’anic verse which says: “They are your garments and you are their garments.” (Surah Al Baqarah 2:187).
Indeed, spouses are like garments to each other because they provide one another with the protection, the comfort, the cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans. Just imagine a journey in the winter of Alaska without garments! Our spouses provide us with the same level of comfort, protection, cover, and support in the journey of our lives on this earth as garments would do in the Alaskan journey.
The relationship between the spouses is the most amazing of all human relations: the amount of love and affection, intimacy and closeness, mercy and compassion, peace and tranquillity that fills the hearts of the spouses is simply inexplicable.
The only rational explanation for these most amazing of all human feelings is that: it is an act of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala, “And Allah has made for you Mates (and Companions of your own nature …” (Surah Al Nahl 16:72)
Only our Almighty Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala in His Infinite Power, Boundless Mercy, and Great Wisdom can create and ingrain these amazing and blessed feelings in the hearts of the spouses. In fact Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala is reminding those who search for His signs in the universe that these feelings in the hearts of the spouses are among the signs that should guide humans to His existence as He says in the Qur’an,
“And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are signs for those who reflect.” (Surah Al Rum 30:21)
But Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala knows that the human heart is not a static entity, it is sometimes weak and at times dynamic.
Feelings can and do change with time. Love may wither and fade away. The marital bond might weaken if not properly cared for.
Happiness in marriage cannot be taken for granted; continuous happiness requires constant giving from both sides. For the tree of marital love to remain alive and keep growing, the soil has to be sustained, maintained, watered and nurtured.
Remember that our Prophet Muhammad Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam had found the time to go out to the desert and race with his wife Aisha.
She outran him but later after she had gained some weight, he outran her. Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam took his wife to watch the young Ethiopians playing and dancing their folk dances. The show of emotions is necessary to keep the marital bond away from rusting and disintegrating. Remember that you will be rewarded by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala for any emotions you show to your wife as the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam said “One would be rewarded for anything that he does seeking the pleasure of Allah even the food that he puts in the mouth of his wife”
Never underestimate the importance of seemingly little things as putting food in your wife’s mouth, opening the car door for her, etc. Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam used to extend his knee to his wife to assist her up to ride the camel. Try to always find some time for both of you to pray together. Strengthening the bond between you and Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala is the best guarantee that your own marital bond would always remain strong. Having peace with Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala will always result in having more peace at home.
Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam gave glad tidings for those couples who wake up at night to pray together.
The Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam even urged the spouse who rises up first to wake the other spouse up, even by splashing cold water on his/her face. Always try your best to be good to your wife by words and by deeds. Talk to her, smile to her, seek her advice, ask for her opinion, spend quality time with her and always remember that the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam said, “The best of you are those who are best to their wives”
Finally, it is common that spouses vow to love and honor their spouses until death do them part. I do believe that this vow is good or even great, but not enough! It is not enough that you love your wife. You have to love what she loves as well. Her family, her loved ones must also become your loved ones. Don’t be like my colleague who was unhappy about his wife’s parents coming to visit for few weeks. He candidly said to her “I don’t like your parents.” Naturally she angrily looked at him straight in the eye and said, “I don’t like yours either.” Also, it is not enough that you love her until death do you part. Love should never end and we do believe there is life after death,
where those who did righteousness in this world will be joined by their spouses (Surah Al Zukhruf 43:70) and offsprings.
The best example in this regard is the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam whose love for Khadija, his wife of 25 years, extended to include all those she loved; this love of his continued even after her death. It was many years after her death and he never forgot her and whenever a goat was slaughtered in his house he would send portions of it to Khadija’s family and friends and whenever he felt that the visitor at the door might be Khadija’s sister Hala, he would pray saying, “O Allah let it be Hala.”
A lecture by; Sheikh Abdullah Adhami
In those days before Islam, women were treated like slaves or property. Their personal consent concerning anything related to their well-being was considered unimportant, to such a degree that they were never even treated as a party to a marriage contract.
Women were used for one purpose, and then discarded, Just for the purpose of sex and pleasure. They had no independence, could own no property and were not allowed to inherit. In times of war, women were treated as part of the prize. Simply put, their condition was unspeakable.
In addition, the birth of a daughter in a family was not an occasion for rejoicing, but was regarded with humiliation. The practice of killing female children was uncontrolled.
With the advent of Islam came the verse from the Quran condemning those who practiced female infanticide:
“And when the news of (the birth of) a female (child) is brought to any of them, his face becomes dark, and he is filled with inward grief! He hides himself from the people because of the evil of that whereof he has been informed. Shall he keep her with dishonor or bury her in the earth? Certainly, evil is their decision.”
And as part of a description of various events on the Day of Judgment, the Quran mentions:
“And when the female (infant) buried alive (as the pagan Arabs used to do)
shall be questioned. For what sin she was killed? (At-Takwir 81:8-9)
Outside Arabia conditions for women were no better. In India, Egypt, and all European countries in the Dark Ages, women were treated worse than slaves. They were not regarded as human beings but as sort of a sub-species between humans and animals.
Allah (SWT) Gave the Arab Women Their Rights
The rights of Muslim women were given to us by Allah (SWT), who is All-Compassionate, All-Merciful, All-Just, All-Unbiased, All-Knowing and Most Wise. These rights, which were granted to women more than 1400 years ago, and were taught by the perfect example of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW), were given by the one Who created us and Who alone knows what rights are best for our female natures. Allah (SWT) says in the Quran:
“O You who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will, and you should not treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at time of marriage) you have given them, unless they commit open illegal sexual intercourse. And live with them honorably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings
through it a great deal of good.” (An-Nisa 4:19)
The most basic right of a woman in Islam is the knowledge and recognition that she never has to ask or demand or fight for her rights which are guaranteed to her by Allah (SWT) Himself.
Rights That Islam Gives to Women
– Human Rights
Islam considers a woman to be equal to a man as a human being and as his partner in this life. Women have been created with a soul of the same nature as man’s. Allah (SWT) says in the Quran:
“O mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a single person (Adam), and from him (Adam) He created his wife (Eve), and from them both He created many men and women and fear Allah through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship). Surely, Allah is Ever and All-Watcher over you.” (Al-Nisa 4:1)
And in the words of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW),
“Assuredly, women are the twin halves of men.” (Sahih reported by Abu-Dawud (RA)
Islam does not blame Eve alone for the First Sin. The Quran makes it very clear that both Adam and Eve were tempted, that they both sinned and were both forgiven after their repentance. Allah (SWT) says in the Quran:
“Then Satan whispered suggestions to them both in order to uncover that which was hidden from them of their private parts (before); he said: “Your Lord did not forbid you this tree save you should become angels or become of the immortals.” And he (Satan) swore by Allah to them both (saying): “Verily, I am one of the sincere well-wishers for you both.” So he mislead them with deception. Then when they tasted of the tree, that which was hidden from them of their shame (private parts) became manifest to them and they began to stick together the leaves of Paradise over themselves (in order to cover their shame). And their Lord called out to them (saying): “Did I not forbid you that tree and tell you: Verily, Satan is an open enemy unto you?” They said: “Our Lord! We have wronged ourselves. If You forgive us not, and bestow not upon us Your Mercy, we shall certainly be of the losers.” (Allah) said: “Get down, one of you an enemy to the other (i.e. Adam, Eve, and Satan, etc.). On earth will be a dwelling-place for you and an enjoyment, – for a time.” He said: “Therein you shall live, and therein you shall die, and from it you shall be brought out (i.e. resurrected).”(Al-A’raf 7:20-25)
In Islamic law a woman is an independent, unique individual in her own right. She has the same responsibilities towards herself, towards Allah (SWT) and towards other human beings as the male, and will be punished or rewarded in the Hereafter without discrimination towards her female gender.
There is no compulsion in religion according to the Quran:
“There is no compulsion in religion. Verily, the Right Path has become distinct from the wrong path. Whoever disbelieves in Taghut [anything worshipped other then the Real God (Allah)] and believes in Allah, then he has grasped the most trustworthy handhold that will never break. And Allah is All-Hearer, All-Knower.”
A Muslim woman is not permitted to change her family name to her husband’s name upon marriage. She is always known by her father’s name, as a mark of her own identity. In choosing a marriage partner, her consent to accept or reject any prospective suitor for marriage must be respected. A Muslim woman has the right to seek divorce, if necessary within the laws of Islam.
Muslim women are not forbidden from going out in the community, working, or visiting relatives and female friends, if there is no objection from their guardian/husband and they are covered and behave and speak according to Islamic guidelines and, if necessary, escorted by their Mahram (a close male relative). However, a woman’s home should be the main base that she works from. Allah (SWT) instructed the wife’s of the Prophet (SAW):
“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allah), then be not soft in speech, lest he is whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy or evil desire for adultery, etc.) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honorable manner. And stay in your houses, and do not display yourselves like that of the times of ignorance, and offer prayers perfectly (Iqamat-as-Salat), and give Zakat and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah wishes only to remove Ar-Rijs (evil deeds and sins, etc.) from you, O members of the family [of the Prophet (SAW)], and to purify you with a thorough purification.” (Al-Ahzab 33:32-33)
In the words of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW):
“To seek knowledge is obligatory on every Muslim.”
(Declared Authentic By Shaikh Muhammad Naasir-ud-Deen Al-Albaani)
Muslim here meaning male and female Muslims, as women are the twin halves of men. The Prophet (SAW) also said:
“Whoever follows a way to seek knowledge, Allah will make easy for him a way to paradise.” (Declared Authentic By Shaikh Muhammad Naasir-ud-Deen Al-Albaani)
A woman in Islam has the right to knowledge and education. Allah (SWT) encourages women to read and keep up the learning process. He also bestows His mercy upon all who seek knowledge, and gives them high status:
“Is one who is obedient to Allah, prostrating himself or standing (in prayer) during the hours of the night, fearing the Hereafter and hoping for the Mercy of his Lord (like one who disbelieves)? Say: “Are those who know equal to those who know not?” It is only men of understanding who will remember (i.e. get a lesson from Allah’s Signs and Verses). (Az-Zumar 39:9)
“O you who believe! When you are told to make room in the assemblies, (spread out and) make room. Allah will give you (ample) room (from His Mercy). And when you are told to rise up (for prayers, Jihad, or for any other good deed), rise up. Allah will exalt in degree those of you who believe, and those who have been granted knowledge. And Allah is Well-Acquainted with what you do. (Al-Mujadilah 58:11)
This is referring to religious knowledge, in the first place, and to any other kind of knowledge, in the second place, where one has the intention of benefiting herself, her family and the Islamic society. Additionally, a husband should not forbid his wife from going out of the house to seek basic religious knowledge, unless he is teaching her at home. The Quran advises mankind to pray:
“Then High above all be Allah, the True King. And be not in haste [O Muhammad (SAW)] with the Quran before its revelation is completed to you, and say: My Lord! Increase me in knowledge.” (Ta-Ha 20:114)
The Right to Go to the Mosque
The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said:
“If someone’s wife asks his permission to go to the mosque, he should not deny it to her.”
Women should be covered Islamically, according to the Muslim woman’s dress requirements (see Her Dress).
At the same time, a woman’s prayer in her home is better, from the standpoint of her household duties and duties as a mother. Also it is better in the sense that it prevents unnecessary mixing with men. The Prophet (SAW) also stated on another occasion:
“But their homes are better for them.” (Reported by Abu Dawud and Ahmed)
Islam Gives Men and Women Equal Rights
In reality, and in Islam, the rights and responsibilities of a woman are equal to those of man, but they are not necessarily identical with them. Equality and sameness are two very different things. I think you’ll agree that, for one thing, women and men are physically very different from one another, although they are equal to each other in other important ways.
In the West, women may be doing the same job that men do, but their wages are often less. The rights of Western women in modern times were not created voluntarily, or out of kindness to the female. The modern Western woman reached her present position by force, and not through natural processes or mutual consent of Divine teachings. She had to force her way, and various circumstances aided her. Shortage of manpower during wars, pressure of economic needs and requirement of industry forced women to leave their homes to work, struggling for their livelihood, to appear equal to men. Whether all women are sincerely pleased with these circumstances, and whether they are happy and satisfied with the results, is a different matter. But the fact remains that whatever rights modern Western women have, they fall short of those of her Muslim counterpart! Islam has given woman what duties her female nature. It gives her full security and protects her against becoming what Western modern women themselves complain against: a “mere sex object.”
The Right to Seek Employment
If you take a look at many societies today, a woman is only valued and considered important if she performs the functions of a man, (while at the same time displaying her feminine attractions to the public). While these women may carry the immense responsibility of bearing and rearing children, you have to admit that they may still be at par with men in nearly every area of life. The result is the present-day confusion concerning sex role differentiation, resulting in very large numbers of divorces and emotionally distraught children.
In Islam, however, the value and importance of women in society and the true measure of their success as human beings, is measured with completely different criteria: their fear of Allah (SWT) and obedience to Him, and fulfillment of the duties He has entrusted them with, particularly that of bearing, rearing and teaching children.
Nevertheless, Islam is a practical religion, and responds to human needs and life situations. Many women need, or wish, to work for various reasons. For example, they may possess a needed skill, such as a teacher or a doctor.
While Islam does not prohibit women working outside the home, it does stipulate that the following restrictions be followed to safeguard the dignity and honor of women and the purity and stability of the Islamic society, (the conduct of women, after all, is the “backbone” of any society):
1. Outside employment should not come before, or seriously interfere with her responsibilities as wife and mother.
2. Her work should not be a source of friction within the family, and the husband’s consent is required in order to eliminate later disagreements. If she is not married, she must have her guardian’s consent.
3. Her appearance, manner and tone of speech and overall behavior should follow Islamic guidelines. These include: restraining her glances in relation to any men near the work place, wearing correct Islamic dress, avoiding men, not walking in a provocative manner, and not using make-up or perfume in public.
4. Her job should not be one which causes moral corruption in society, or involve any prohibited trade or activity, affect her own religion, morals, dignity and good behavior, or subject her to temptations.
5. Her job should not be one which is mixing and associating with men.
6. A woman should try to seek employment in positions which require a woman’s special skills, or which relate to the needs of women and children, such as teaching, nursing other women, midwifery, medicine with specialization’s like pediatric or obstetrics-gynecology.
A Muslim Woman is Required to Dress a Certain Way When She Goes Out in Public
For a Muslim woman, her modest dress is an expression of a universal sisterhood. An Islamic dress also liberates the Muslim woman, and she is then automatically respected for her mind instead of her body. Simply put, she retains her dignity! It is like saying: I am a respectful woman. I am not for every man to look at, touch, or speak to. I am protected, exactly like a precious white pearl which, if touched by everyone, will become black and dirty.
A woman’s modest dress protects society from adultery and other forms of illegal sexual relations that lead to the break up of families and corruption of society.
THE RIGHT OF A MUSLIM WOMAN IS TO BE RESPECTED FOR HER MIND AND FOR BEING HER OWN PERSON