*~55 Ways to Maintain a Happy Marriage~*
~*~55 Ways to Maintain a Happy Marriage~*
Marriage is a highly recommended Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (saw).
“And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between you; verily, in that are signs for people who reflect.” (Qur’an, 30:21)
“And marry those among you that are single and (also marry) the Salihun (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they be poor Allah will enrich them out of His bounty. And Allah is All-Sufficient for His creatures’ needs, All-Knowing (about the state of the people).” [(Qur’an, 24:32)
To men, the Prophet said,
“Take good care of women, for they were created from a bent rib, and the most curved part of it is its top; if you try to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it, it will remain arched, so take good care of women.” (Bukhari & Muslim)
He has further stressed: “The most perfect believer in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behavior; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives.” (Al-Tirmidhi)
The Prophet ﷺ has also said, “A believing man should not hate a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.” (Muslim)
“…Live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them – perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.” (Qur’an, 4:19)
“Men are the protectors and maintainers [qawwamun] of women, because Allah has given the one more [strength] than the other, and because they support them from their means . . .” (Qur’an, 4:34)
1 Short separation (days) will strengthen the marriage but long separation can weaken the relationship. • As they say ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder.’
2 Understand each others fitrah (The fitrah is the natural disposition of a person e.g. Allah has created man and women with certain qualities that are innate in them). • The hadith of Muhammad (saw) states that “Every person is born on a state of fitrah, it is their parents that change them to a Jew, Christian or Fire worshipper.” Both the husband and wife must realise not to challenge each others fitrah but can account each other by their fitrah. • Hadith: Prophet Muhammad (saw) said to his daughter Fatima; ‘O Fatima , Allah has made Ali on a certain fitrah that you should know about.”
3 Try and solve disputes on the same day.• Hadith: Prophet Muhammad (saw) said ; “Don’t let disputes stay until the next day but solve it the same day.” • Shaytan is always there to cause fitna for people especially between the husband and wife so its important not to let disputes last longer than a day otherwise small issues will seem very big.
4 Don’t speak about your past! • Islam forbids speaking about your jahilliyah (days of before practising Islam).
5 Stay away from idealism and live your lives naturally. • Hadith: A couple came to Prophet (saw) and said ‘we make mistakes’ and He (saw) said ‘you are not perfect’. • Always evaluate the problem and don’t pretend or expect miracles.
6 Convey your love and warm feelings to each other. • Hadith: “You must express yourself to your partners” • The wife of Muhammad (saw) said: “The Prophet (saw) never let a day pass without showing his affection.”
7 Fight against your own problems and don’t share anger with your partner.
8 Do not be critical of each other. • Hadith: Prophet (saw) said “Do not be critical”. All type of criticism is forbidden in Islam. • Islam allows certain type of lying in order to maintain a good relationship e.g. complementing on the wife’s cooking even if it doesn’t taste nice!
9 When disputing with your partner don’t expand the argument by adding all other previous disputes. • Hadith: Prophet (saw) said “Dare any of you who sleeps with his wife in the night and then critises her in the morning.”
10 Never doubt your partner, • Doubting each other can lead to the destruction of the marriage
11 Trust your partner and show you have full confidence in them.
12 Pick a suitable partner for yourself but also make sure that you are also compatible for your partner. • Hadith: A man came to the Prophet Muhammad (saw) after seeing a woman for the purpose of marriage and said ‘She is of good Deen but her father refuses’ He (saw) replied ‘did you look to yourself?’ (This man never went for jihad or was see among the men of Medina ). The man replied ‘Ya Rasuallah, verily you have spoken the truth”.
13 The main pillar to maintain good relationship between the husband and wife is purity hence cleanliness of body and house etc is important. • Once a woman complained to the Prophet (saw) about her husband’s bad odour. • Hadith: The Messenger Muhammed (saw) said “None of you who believe in Allah, spits and covers it.”
14 You need to sacrifice to maintain relationship. • Hadith : The Messenger Muhammad (saw) said; “Sacrifice is the best gift between the husband and wife.”
15 ADVISE FROM A SAHABIYAT TO HER DAUGHTER; • “Care about your husband like you care about yourself and love for your partner what you love for yourself.”• The Messenger Muhammad (saw) will never eat before his wives as mentioned in a hadith “ The best amongst you is the one who raises the food and feeds his wife.”
16 Give your partner gifts. • Exchanging gifts will cause more inclinations towards each other and strengthen the relationship.
17 Don’t be selfish! • Give and take, don’t always take.
18 Don’t accuse your partner for problems e.g. by saying ‘You did it’ or ‘it’s your fault.’
19 Live for the day and don’t worry about tomorrow. • Allah knows whether or not you are going to wake up in the morning!
20 Always remember that marriage is a divine bond, so think twice before doing something on the impulse which you will regret later. • Hadtih: The Messenger Muhammad (saw) said; “Three things that are serious; marriage, divorce and freeing the slave.”
21 Although love is an essential part of marriage, do not take it for granted and abuse each other thinking that your partner will always love you regardless of ill treatment.
22 Be an example to your partner and let your actions tell and convey your personality. • Hadith: Muhammad (saw) said; “To change your partner the way you wish, be the model for them.”• Hadith: “Pray Qiyaam with your wife.” • Hadith: Once Fatima (ra) the daughter of the Prophet Muhammad (saw) asked ‘How can I be closer to Ali (ra)?’ He (saw) replied ‘Pray Qiyaam ul-Layl with him and whenever he wakes up, wake up with him.’
23 Do not let parents, relatives or neighbours interfere with your marriage. • Try to reconcile between yourselves as much as you can and if that’s not possible than allow a trustworthy Muslim to arbitrate.
24 Don’t rush into correcting differences which you perceive in your partner. There are some matters that can only be changed with time.
25 The couple must both accept the consequences and responsibilities that marriage brings and be satisfied.
26 Do not embarrass or humiliate your partner especially in the presence of other people.
27 Participate in collective activities together. • Co-operating with each other will bring a sense of family life e.g. Picnics, BBQ, dawah projects etc.• The Prophet Muhammad used to do collective things with his wives.
28 Do not look down to your partner or ridicule their capability rather let your partner express themselves. • Hadith: The Prophet Muhammad (saw); “The good husband is the one when the speaks he listens and when she complains he is concerned.”
29 The financial right (Naafaqah) of the wife is something serious and her husband must fulfil it.
30 Do not share your sadness and misery with your partner rather exchange jokes and laughter.
31 Do not allow your friends to interfere in your marriage. • Aisha (ra) the wife of Muhammad (saw) once said to the women of the Ansar “Watch out! Do not give room for your friends to interfere in your own privacy.” • Part of a man’s fitrah is that he has the right of authority in the family as the head of the household and also that no one should know about his affairs.
32 Let your husband feel that you are content with him and that you are proud of him. • Hadith : Muhammad (saw) “Do not compare your husband with another man and don not compare your wife with another woman.”
33 During times of disputes remember the goodness of your partner. • Hadith: Muhammad (saw) said; “The good deed abolishes the bad deed”
34 Abu Bakr (ra) said: “In order to understand the character and goodness of your partner, and to fight defection, remember; • What you like about your partner? • What happy experience has passed you two? • What things you did together?” • Umar bin Khattab (ra) said: “The good man is the one who makes his partner like him and appreciate him.”
35 Be careful not to use abusive words during times of disputes.
36 Have celebrations with the family. • The Prophet Muhammad used to encourage his daughter Fatima (ra) and Ali (ra) to celebrate with their children.
37 The intelligent wife is the one who asks her husband for things at the right time e.g. don’t ask for a expensive dress if you know he can’t afford it!
38 Hadith: The Prophet Muhammad (saw) said ; “Three things that should not be used My dignity, My status, My pride.”
39 Do not abolish the presence of your partner. Always have consult your partner, even if it’s for small issues like grocery shopping.
40 Do not run away from home! • If you want to discipline the wife for doing something sinful then separate from the bed but don’t leave home. • Hadith: The Messenger Muhammad (saw) said; “Don’t run away from home”
41 Do not anger your husband by asking too many unnecessary questions and vice versa.
42 Do not desert the husband at home. • Umar bin Khattab disciplined a woman for that and said to her; ‘Are you a woman or a man?’
43 Do not exchange roles! • Allah (swt) has clearly defined the rights and responsibilities of the husband and wife hence it is not proper for us to swap them. A woman must remember even if she is working, her husband, children and home would always come first.
44 Respect the In-laws.
45 Hadith: The Prophet Muhammad (saw) said; “Honour your mother in-law and call her by the best names (according to the tradition).”
46 Don’t let the neighbour interfere. • Hadith: The Prophet Muhammad (saw) said; “Look after your neighbours and participate with them in happiness and sadness and always command them to obey Allah.” • Disclosing family secrets is not participating in sadness!
47 Be careful not to have disputes frequently, it will jeopardise the relationship. • Learn to sacrifice in issues of permissibility in order to maintain tranquillity.
48 Always establish quietness, calmness and tranquillity in the home.
49 Do not interfere with your partner when they are disciplining the children except in an emergency where your partner is violating the shari’ah.
50 Look after your children and maintain a high standard of upbringing e.g. clothing, feeding etc.
51 Listen to your husband and try not to forget to do things for which he has asked you to do. • Hadith: The Prophet Muhammad (saw) said ; “Teach your wife the chapter of An-Nisa, Al-Maida, An-Nur (from the Qu’ran).”
52 Shari’ah must be the centre of your lives and obedience to your husband is one of the means to Jannah.
53 Remember that Allah will always test you and there will be times that you may have domestic problems but remember every problem doesn’t mean the end!
54 Avoid arguing with each other especially in front of children.
55 The wife should not allow anyone to enter her home without the permission of her husband.
Allow me to close this article on a final note from Allah. Allah says, “Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full without reckoning (or measure).” (Qur’an, 39:10).
A mother’s advice to her daughter:
THIS IS A ‘MUST READ’ ARTICLE TO SAVE DIVORCE
Abd al-Malik (Radiyallaahu ‘anhaa) said: “When ‘Awf ibn Muhallim al-Shaybani, one of the most highly respected leaders of the Arab nobility during the jahiliyyah, married his daughter Umm Iyas to al-Harith ibn ‘Amr al-Kindi, as she was made ready to be taken to the groom, her mother, Umamah came into her room to advise her and said:
* O my daughter, if it were deemed unnecessary to give you this advice because of good manners and noble descent, then it would have been unnecessary for you, because you posses these qualities, but it will serve as a reminder to those who are forgetful, and will help those who are wise.
* O my daughter, if a woman were able to do without a husband by virtue of her father’s wealth and her need for her father, then you of all people would be most able to do without a husband, but women were created for men just as men were created for them.
* O my daughter, you are about to leave the home in which you grew up, where you first learned to walk, to go to a place you do not know, to a companion to whom you are unfamiliar. By marrying you, he has become a master over you, so be like a servant to him, and he will become like a servant to you. [/color]
‘Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder for you:
* ‘The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one’s husband pleases Allah.
* ‘The third and fourth of them are: make sure that you smell good and look good; he should not see anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you. Kohl is the best kind of beautification to be found, and water is better than the rarest perfume
* ‘The fifth and sixth of them are: prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing his sleep will make him angry.
* ‘The seventh and eight of them are: take care of his servants (or employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care of his children and servants shows good management.
* ‘The ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of his secrets, and never disobey any of his orders, for if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you.
* ‘Be careful, O my daughter, of showing joy in front of him when he is upset, and do not show sorrow in front of him when he is happy, because the former shows a lack of judgment whilst the latter will make him unhappy.
May Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala bless us with good and happy marriages and grant us patience, kindness, love, understanding, humility, sacrifice, empathy, and forgiveness towards our spouses in our marital life.
A letter from mother to her daughter:
“My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.
If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”… Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same sto
ry night after night until you would fall asleep.
When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl?
When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way… remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day… the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.
If I occasionally lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you.
And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked.
When those days come, don’t feel sad… just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love.
I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you… my darling daughter.”
Hadith:-THE BEST AMONGST YOU IS THE ONE WHO TREATS HIS WIFE THE BEST.
MEN MUST ALSO READ THIS INSH-ALLAH BECAUSE CERTAIN AHADITH MAKES JANNAH HARAAM ON WOMEN.
by Muhammad bin Shaker ash-Sharif
in the name of allah, most gracious, most merciful
praise be to allah, lord of the worlds, and peace and blessings be upon muhammad, his apostle, the constant bearer of good tidings and the constant warner to the whole of mankind.
the following is a group of hadiths concerned with some islamic regulations for women. i collected and divided into chapters. it includes only forty-three hadiths, simple and easy to memorize. i followed the steps of many previous compilers who collected forty hadiths in various subjects. all hadiths are certain and accurate, i.e. mentioned in sahih muslim and/or al bukhari or agreed upon by the prominent hadithscholars.
i pray to allah, the high and almighty, to accept this modest work from his humble worshipper, forgive all my sins and mistakes, guide my intention, and let me die on good deeds.
chapter 1 : woman’s pray at home is better than going to mosque
narrated by ibn ‘umar: allah’s apostle said: “do not prevent women (wives, mothers, daughters, sisters, etc) from (praying at) mosques. yet, their prayer at home is better (for them).”
chapter 2 : woman’s freedom to go out for their needs
narrated by ‘aisha: allah’s apostle said: “you (women) have been allowed to go out for your needs.”
chapter 3 : evils behind unnecessary socialising of unveiled women
narrated by ibn mas’ud: allah’s apostle said: “(unveiled) woman is a cause of corruption. once she goes out satan beautifies her in the eyes of men (to seduce her as well as them). at her home, she is the closest (to the face) of her lord.”
chapter 4 : woman should take the permission of her husband before going out
narrated by ibn umar: one of the wives of umar (bin al-khattab) used to offer the fajr and the ‘isha’ prayer in congregation in the mosque. she was asked why she had come out for the prayer as she knew that umar disliked it, and he has great “ghaira” (self-respect). she replied, “what prevents him from stopping me from this act?” the other replied, “the statement of allah’s apostle (p.b.u.h): ‘do not stop allah’s women-slave from going to allah’s mosques. ”
chapter 5: prohibition on women regarding putting perfumes when going out
narrated by abu mousa al ash’ari: allah’s apostle said: “if a woman uses perfume and passes the people so that they may get its odour, she is so-and-so, meaning severe remarks. (i.e. about to commit adultery).”
chapter 6 : prohibition on women regarding showing her charms when going out
narrated by fudhalah ibn ‘ubaid: allah’s apostle said: “three persons are doomed …. among them a woman whose husband is not present and provides for her; yet she shows her charms to (foreign) men.”
chapter 7 : women should not travel without mahram
narrated by ibn ‘abbas: allah’s apostle said: “a woman should not travel except with a dhu-mahram (her husband or a man with whom that woman cannot marry at all according to the islamic jurisprudence).” a man got up and said, “o allah’s apostle! i intend to go to such and such an army and my wife wants to perform hajj.” the prophet said (to him), “go along with her (to hajj).”
chapter 8 : women should have their own entrance to the mosque
narrated by ibn ‘umar: allah’s apostle said: “should we leave this entrance (at the mosque, i.e. al masjid al nabawi ) only for women to enter.” the sub-narrator, ibn nafie’ said: “ibn ‘umar did not use this entrance (after that) until his death.”
chapter 9 : women should not walk in the middle of the street
narrated by abi ausaid al ansari: while allah’s apostle was going out of the mosque he saw all men and women in the road. he told the women: “you should wait behind. you should not walk in the middle of the road.” the narrator said: “women afterwards used to walk so close to the wall so that their dresses often stick to it.”
chapter 10 : women should perform tawaf without mingling with men
narrated by ibn jarieh said ‘ata had told him when ibn hashim prevented women from performing tawaf with men: how could he prevent them while the wives of the prophet performed tawaf with men?” i (i.e. ibn jarieh) said: before or after (the verse of) hijab (was revealed)? he said: “upon my life, after hijab.” “how could they intermix with men?” i asked. “they didn’t,” he replied. “’aisha used to perform tawaf at a dividing space from men; she didn’t intermingle with them.”
chapter 11 : men shouldn’t enter freely into private places where foreign women are
narrated by ‘uqba bin ‘amir: allah’s apostle said, “beware of entering homes or rooms in which foreign ladies are.” a man from the ansar said, “allah’s apostle! what about (al-hamu) the in-laws of the wife (the brothers of her husband or his nephews etc.)?” the prophet replied: the in-laws of the wife are death itself.”
chapter 12 : women should have their own learning venues
narrated by abu huraira: a group of women came to allah’s prophet and said to him: “we cannot attend your majlis (gathering) of men, so, appoint us a day to come to you (alone).” he said: “we will meet at the house of so and so.” he went to them on the specified date and place. among what he said at that day to the present women was “any woman who rises up three children for the sake of allah will enter paradise.” one woman said: “and two?” “and two,” the prophet said.
chapter 13 : women should not carry funeral
narrated by abu sa’eed al-khudri :allah’s apostle said, when the funeral is ready and the men carry it on their shoulders, if the deceased was righteous he will say, ‘present me (hurriedly),’ and if he was not righteous, he will say, ‘woe to (me)! where are they taking (me)?’ his voice is heard by everything except man and if he heard it he would fall unconscious.”
chapter 14 : women should not take off their clothes outside their homes
narrated by abu al mulaih al hathli: some women from homs asked for permission to visit ‘aisha’s and she said: “perhaps you belong to the place where women enter hot baths (for washing), i heard the apostle of allah saying: if a woman puts off her clothes in a place other than her house, she tears the veil between her and allah.
chapter 15: woman should not describe another woman to her husband
narrated by ‘abdullah ibn mas’oud: the prophet said, “a woman should not look at or touch another woman to describe her to her husband in such a way as if he were actually looking at her.”
chapter 16: women should not speak unnecessarily in the presence of foreign men
narrated by abu huraira : the prophet said, “the saying ‘sub han allah’ is for men and clapping is for women i.e.” (if something happens during the prayer talking is not allowed, except the men can invite the attention of the imam by saying “sub han allah (i.e. glorified be allah )”, and women, by clapping their hands).
chapter 17 : prohibition of lamentation over the dead
narrated by um ‘atiyya: at the time of giving the pledge of allegiance to the prophet one of the conditions was that we would not wail, but it was not fulfilled except by five women.
chapter 18 : exchange of salutation between men and women once there is no temptation
narrated by asmaa: allah’s apostle passed by a group of women near the mosque. he waved his hand to them in salutation and said: “beware of being ungrateful to your husbands, beware of being ungrateful to your husbands.”
chapter 19 : men and women may talk to each other in good intention
narrated by anas bin malik: the prophet passed by a woman who was sitting and weeping beside a grave and said to her, “fear allah and be patient.”
chapter 20: a woman can offer herself in marriage to the righteous man
narrated by anas: “a woman came to the prophet offering herself to him in marriage, saying, “have you got any interest in me (i.e. would you like to marry me?)” anas’ daughter said, “how shameless that woman was!” on that anas said, “she is better than you for, she presented herself to allah’s apostle (for marriage).”
chapter 21 : a woman should not be married against her will
narrated by abdullah ibn abbas: a virgin came to the prophet and mentioned that her father had married her to a man against her will, so the prophet allowed her to exercise her choice.
another hadith asserts this point.
narrated by abdullah ibn abbas:
the prophet said: a guardian has no concern with a woman previously married and has no husband, and a virgin must be consulted; her silence being her acceptance. (book 5, number 2095: abu dawud)
chapter 22 : a woman is not allowed to promise her husband not to marry after he dies
narrated by um mubashir: allah’s apostle proposed to the widow of al baraa bin ma’rour but she told him: “i promised my (dead) husband not to marry after him.” “this promise is not valid,” said the prophet
chapter 23 : a woman should not ask for divorce without a reason
narrated by thawban: allah’s apostle said, “any woman who asks divorce from her husband without a reason, the smell of paradise is prohibited for her.”
chapter 24 : young women can sing and play the tambourine in weddings and similar occasions
narrated by ar-rubai’ bint mu’auwith: the prophet came to me after consuming his marriage with me and sat down on my bed as you (the sub-narrator) are sitting now, and small girls were beating the tambourine and singing in lamentation of my father who had been killed on the day of the battle of badr. then one of the girls said, “there is a prophet amongst us who knows what will happen tomorrow.” the prophet said (to her),” do not say this, but go on saying what you have spoken before.”
chapter 25 : wives have great duty towards their husbands
narrated by ‘abullah bin abi awfa: allah’s apostle said, “had i ordered a person to prostrate to someone rather than allah, i would have ordered the wife to prostrate to her husband. by allah, who holds the soul of muhammad in his hands, the wife will not be fulfilling her duty towards allah until she fulfils her duty towards her husband. if he asks her (for sexual intercourse) while she is on a camel (what means, being busy), she should not disobey him.”
chapter 26 : angels curses the disobedient wife
narrated by abu huraira: allah’s apostle said, “if a husband calls his wife to his bed (i.e. to have sexual relation) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the angels will curse her till morning.”
chapter 27 : woman should be grateful to her husband
narrated by abdullah ibn abbas: allah’s apostle said, “i also saw the hell-fire and i had never seen such a horrible sight. i saw that most of the inhabitants were women.” the people asked, “o allah’s apostle! why is it so?” the prophet replied, “because of their ungratefulness.” it was asked whether they are ungrateful to allah. the prophet said, “they are ungrateful to their companions of life (husbands) and ungrateful to good deeds. if you are benevolent to one of them throughout the life and if she sees anything (undesirable) in you, she will say, ‘i never had any good from you.’ ”
chapter 28 : woman should not obey her husband if ordered to do a sin
narrated by ‘aisha: an ansari woman (from the supportes) gave her daughter in marriage and the hair of the latter started falling out. the ansari women came to the prophet and mentioned that to him and said, “her (my daughter’s) husband suggested that i should let her wear false hair.” the prophet said, “no, (don’t do that) for allah sends his curses upon such ladies who lengthen their hair artificially.”
chapter 29 : woman should not donate from her money unless upon husband’s consent
allah’s apostle said: “a woman, once married, should ask for husband’s consent if she wants to give away a gift (or donation) from her money.”
chapter 30 : woman should help her husband and his dependants
narrated by jabir bin ‘abdullah: “my father died and left seven or nine girls and i married a matron”. allah’s apostle said to me, “o jabir! have you married?” i said, “yes.” he said, “a virgin or a matron?” i replied, “a matron.” he said, “why not a virgin, so that you might play with her and she with you, and you might amuse her and she amuse you.” i said, ” ‘abdullah (my father) died and left girls, and i dislike to marry a girl like them, so i married a lady (matron) so that she may look after them.” on that the prophet said, “may allah bless you,” or “that is good.”
chapter 31: husband should provide for wife and children
narrated by ‘aisha : hind (bint ‘utba) said, “o allah’s apostle! abu sufyan is a miser. is there any harm if i take of his property what will cover me and my children’s needs?” the prophet said, “take (according to your needs) in a reasonable manner.”
chapter 32 : prohibition of changing allah’s creations unnecessarily
narrated by ‘abdullah: allah has cursed those women who practise tattooing and those who get themselves tattooed, and those who remove their face hairs, and those who create a space between their teeth artificially to look beautiful, and women changing the features created by allah. why then should i not curse those whom the prophet has cursed? and that is in allah’s book. i.e. his saying: ‘and what the apostle gives you take it and what he forbids you abstain (from it).’ (59.7)
chapter 33 : woman should not wear tight clothes
narrated by abu huraira: allah’s apostle said, “two are the types of the denizens of hell whom i did not see: people having flogs like the tails of the ox with them and they would be beating people, and the women who would be dressed but appear to be naked, who would be inclined (to evil) and make their husbands incline towards it. their heads would be like the humps of the bukht (very huge) camel inclined to one side. they will not enter paradise and they would not smell its odour whereas its odour would be smelt from such and such distance.”
chapter 34 : woman should not wear false hair like jews
narrated by sa’eed bin al musayyib: mu’awiya came to medina and he addressed us and took out a bunch of hair and said: i never saw but the jews using this (adding of artificial hair) and i can well recall that when this act would reached allah’s messenger (may peace be upon him), he would name it as cheating.
in another narration mu’awiya said one day : should i tell you the evil make-up. allah’s apostle forbade cheating. it was during that time that a person came with a staff and there was a cloth on its head, whereupon mu’awiya said: behold, that is cheating. qutada (the sub-narrator) said: this implies how women artificially increase their hair with the help of rags.
chapter 35 : woman should not lie and adopt falsehood
narrated by a’sha that a woman came to allah’s apostle) and said: i have a co-wife. is there any harm for me if i give her the false impression (of getting something from my husband which he has not in fact given me)? thereupon allah’s messenger (may peace be upon him) said: the one who creates such a (false impression) of receiving what one has not been given is like one who wears the garment of falsehood.
chapter 36 : women should not wear high shoes
narrated by abu sa’eed al khudri, allah’s apostle said :” a jewish women used to put two wooden legs to lengthen her shoes, so that no one could recognise her, for she was very short.” the prophet forbade this action that is a kind of cheating others.
chapter 37 : women should not shave their heads
narrated by ibn ‘abbas: allah’s apostle said, “women do not have to shave their head, only to shorten their hair (i.e. in hajj and other practices)”
chapter 38 : women’s dying their hands and feet with henna
narrated by ‘a’isha, ummul mu’minin: a woman made a sign from behind a curtain to indicate that she had a letter for the apostle of allah. the prophet closed his hand, saying: i do not know this is a man’s or a woman’s hand. she said: no, a woman. he said: if you were a woman, you would make a difference to your nails, meaning with henna.
chapter 39: women should cover her face in the presence of foreign men
narrated by ‘abdullah bin umar: a person stood up and asked, “o allah’s: apostle! what clothes may be worn in the state of ihram?” the prophet replied, “do not wear a shirt or trousers, or any headgear, and also do not wear anything perfumed with wars or saffron, and the muhrima (a woman in the state of ihram) should not cover her face, or wear gloves.”
chapter 40 : women are allowed to wear gold and silk
narrated abu musa al ‘ashari: allah’s apostle said, “wearing silk (clothes) and gold is no allowed for the males of my ummah but allowed to the females.”
chapter 41 : women, not men, are allowed to wear clothes dyed in saffron
narrated by ‘abdullah b. ‘amr: allah’s apostle saw me in two clothes dyed in saffron, whereupon he said: has your mother ordered you to do so? and i said: i will wash them. he said: but burn them.
chapter 42 : women should not show their ornaments to foreign men
narrated by abu huraira: allah’s apostle said, “woe unto women from the two reds: gold and saffron-dyed clothes.”
chapter 43: women should not imitate men in dress, movements, and way of speech
narrated by ibn ‘abbas: allah’s apostle cursed those men who are in the similitude (assume the manners) of women and those women who are in the similitude (assume the manners) of men.