Why are Divorce rates among Muslims going UP?!?
There are numerous contributing factors. Lets just look at one specific (neglected) aspect —
Why does a woman want Divorce after many years ofbeing (apparently) happily married ?
There are many issues in a marriage that might bother a typical wife. Yet, for the peace and tranquility of the home, and to keep her husband happy, the wife often chooses to suppress those feelings.
She might suppress her feelings consciously or unconsciously for many years! Until one day, she wakes up to realize how miserable she has become, and she feels completely trapped in this endless unhappiness. Usually, she feels that making any worthwhile change after all these years is simply impossible! Hence, for her basic sanity, she makes the very difficult decision to divorce 😦
All this happens with the husband falling from the sky, because he had no cluethis was coming so abruptly !?!
From his point of view, everything was sailing through smoothly… But in reality, things were not all that peachy as he thought! In rare occasions, the roles are exactly reversed with husband suppressing frustrations for years.
*** How can we correct this problem ? ***
Brothers & Sisters::
Its very noble of you to try to overlook things for the peace and tranquility of the home. But you must tryto differentiate between those things that are trivialvs. those that truly destroy your trust, respect, and admiration towards your spouse.
In NO WAY should you nag your spouse aboutinsignificant matters. At the same time, don’t continue to suppress deep hurt feelings and frustrations that linger on for months. Be wise. Find the appropriate time when your spouse is not stressed,and use respectful and polite words to clearly express how and why your feelings are hurt, and at least give them a chance tounderstand and correct their mistakes. You never know, having those slightlydifficult conversations could save your marriage and benefit you and your kids many years down the line 😉
You have a tendency to continue taking advantage of your wife’s kindness, and give very little kindness back! Befearful of Allah (swt), because one day you have to stand in front of Allah (swt) to justify how you used the authority and responsibility that Allah gave you! Be very vigilant and watch out for situations where you may have hurt your wife’s feelings and might be taking unfair advantage of her silence. Be proactive and make her feel comfortable to share her hidden hurt feelings.
If youdon’t, someday you might just wake up to an unpleasant surprise, when its too late to correct your mistakes. Our Beloved Prophet (saw) said: “Verily, the best of you are those that are best to their families …” May Allah (swt) shower love and mercy upon all married couples, and make marriage easy upon us, andmake it easy for muslims to find righteous spouses… Ameen.