Daily Archives: June 26, 2011
From now until the rest of your days your wife will be your partner, your companion, and your best friend.
She will share your moments, your days, and your years. She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears. When you are ill, she will take the best care of you; when you need help, she will do all she can for you; when you have a secret, she will keep it; when you need advice, she will give you the best advice. She will always be with you: when you wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will see will be hers; during the day, she will be with you, if for some time she is not with you by her physical body, she will be thinking of you, praying for you with all her heart, mind, and soul;
when you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will be her; and when you are asleep you will still see her in your dreams. In short, she will be your whole world and you will be her whole world.
The best description that I personally have ever read describing the closeness of the spouses to each other is the Qur’anic verse which says: “They are your garments and you are their garments.” (Surah Al Baqarah 2:187).
Indeed, spouses are like garments to each other because they provide one another with the protection, the comfort, the cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans. Just imagine a journey in the winter of Alaska without garments! Our spouses provide us with the same level of comfort, protection, cover, and support in the journey of our lives on this earth as garments would do in the Alaskan journey.
The relationship between the spouses is the most amazing of all human relations: the amount of love and affection, intimacy and closeness, mercy and compassion, peace and tranquillity that fills the hearts of the spouses is simply inexplicable.
The only rational explanation for these most amazing of all human feelings is that: it is an act of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala, “And Allah has made for you Mates (and Companions of your own nature …” (Surah Al Nahl 16:72)
Only our Almighty Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala in His Infinite Power, Boundless Mercy, and Great Wisdom can create and ingrain these amazing and blessed feelings in the hearts of the spouses. In fact Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala is reminding those who search for His signs in the universe that these feelings in the hearts of the spouses are among the signs that should guide humans to His existence as He says in the Qur’an,
“And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are signs for those who reflect.” (Surah Al Rum 30:21)
But Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala knows that the human heart is not a static entity, it is sometimes weak and at times dynamic.
Feelings can and do change with time. Love may wither and fade away. The marital bond might weaken if not properly cared for.
Happiness in marriage cannot be taken for granted; continuous happiness requires constant giving from both sides. For the tree of marital love to remain alive and keep growing, the soil has to be sustained, maintained, watered and nurtured.
Remember that our Prophet Muhammad Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam had found the time to go out to the desert and race with his wife Aisha.
She outran him but later after she had gained some weight, he outran her. Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam took his wife to watch the young Ethiopians playing and dancing their folk dances. The show of emotions is necessary to keep the marital bond away from rusting and disintegrating. Remember that you will be rewarded by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala for any emotions you show to your wife as the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam said “One would be rewarded for anything that he does seeking the pleasure of Allah even the food that he puts in the mouth of his wife”
Never underestimate the importance of seemingly little things as putting food in your wife’s mouth, opening the car door for her, etc. Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam used to extend his knee to his wife to assist her up to ride the camel. Try to always find some time for both of you to pray together. Strengthening the bond between you and Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala is the best guarantee that your own marital bond would always remain strong. Having peace with Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala will always result in having more peace at home.
Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam gave glad tidings for those couples who wake up at night to pray together.
The Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam even urged the spouse who rises up first to wake the other spouse up, even by splashing cold water on his/her face. Always try your best to be good to your wife by words and by deeds. Talk to her, smile to her, seek her advice, ask for her opinion, spend quality time with her and always remember that the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam said, “The best of you are those who are best to their wives”
Finally, it is common that spouses vow to love and honor their spouses until death do them part. I do believe that this vow is good or even great, but not enough! It is not enough that you love your wife. You have to love what she loves as well. Her family, her loved ones must also become your loved ones. Don’t be like my colleague who was unhappy about his wife’s parents coming to visit for few weeks. He candidly said to her “I don’t like your parents.” Naturally she angrily looked at him straight in the eye and said, “I don’t like yours either.” Also, it is not enough that you love her until death do you part. Love should never end and we do believe there is life after death,
where those who did righteousness in this world will be joined by their spouses (Surah Al Zukhruf 43:70) and offsprings.
The best example in this regard is the Prophet Salallaahu ‘aliahi wa’sallaam whose love for Khadija, his wife of 25 years, extended to include all those she loved; this love of his continued even after her death. It was many years after her death and he never forgot her and whenever a goat was slaughtered in his house he would send portions of it to Khadija’s family and friends and whenever he felt that the visitor at the door might be Khadija’s sister Hala, he would pray saying, “O Allah let it be Hala.”
A lecture by; Sheikh Abdullah Adhami
Words to My Muslim Sister
My Dear Sister,
Know, my dear Muslim sister, that you are man’s sister and half of humanity. You are a mother, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, grand daughter or grand mother. The Prophet said, what translated means, Women are, indeed, men’s partners. [Abu Dawud]
You are a member of the great nation of Islam, the best nation ever produced for mankind.
No other nation on earth has more great men, leaders and conquerors than this nation. It is the nation of guidance and the straight religion, and it leads humanity to righteousness and truth.
It transforms people from worshippers of slaves to worshippers of the Lord of slaves, from life’s pressures to the pleasures of the Life after, and from the injustice of other religions to the justice of Islam.
Your ancestors, great women of Islam, were one of the main reasons for this great nation to take this great place among all nations. Allah, Who granted Islam to this nation, made a high place for Muslim women, and decreed that they share in the responsibilities of enjoining truth, forbidding evil and raising the flag of Islam. He said, what translated means,
“The believers, men and women, are loyalists of one another, they enjoin righteousness and forbid evil, they offer their prayers perfectly and give the Zakat, and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah will leave His Mercy on them. Surely Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise.” [Noble Quran 9:71]
Allah has given Muslim women what they can bare of orders and duties. He is the God Who knows His creation,
“Should He not know what He created? And He is the Most Kind, All-Aware (of everything).” [Noble Quran 67:14]
My dear sister, you are called upon today to truly become an active member of the Muslim nation, strive to establish victory for Allah’s Word, implement the Quran and help build the generation of Iman.
What Do Your Enemies Want From You?
There are those who want to distract you from doing your duty. They want to distract you from meeting your noble obligation, that is, to defend the religion of Allah and raise His Word high. Those enemies use many methods:
First: They distract you from what Allah created you to perform of worship, belief and Da’wah (propagating Islam).
They use this worldly life as their bate: Jewelry stores, fashions that originate in non-Muslim countries, new models all the time, desires raised, hunger that can never be satisfied, pleasures and competition for them and endless ways for joy.
Allah did not create us for this. Indulging in these matters is usually accompanied by wasting time and money and igniting enmity and competition between the rich and the poor.
Second: They ignite enmity between you and man. To those sinners, you are a daughter that is put down, a humiliated mother, an abused wife and an oppressed sister! Men are always unjust, hypocrites, dictators, freedom- preventers and suppressers, according to them. There is a fabricated war that those evil ones are starting for no reason other than to direct you to rebel against your father, be arrogant with your brother and disobedient to your husband. They do not call for justice, mercy and unity. They call for hatred, arrogance and destruction.
Third: They do not stop at their call for rebellion against parents, brothers and husbands, rather, they plot against Islam. They call upon you to rebel against the obligations of Islam and the decrees of the All-Knowing King. Islam, to them, is unjust and Islamic laws are imperfect and restrictive. They call upon you, day and night, to rebel and insist on the disobedience of this religion. They try to rid you of your religion. They try to rid you of comfort and safety under generous parenthood, happy marriage and good brotherly relations.
Those devils portray piety and honor as chains on freedom. To them, Hijab does not cover the head, but also covers the mind; prayer, fasting and Zakat are a waste of time and effort; and obedience to husbands is slavery and a return to the stone age. They distorted all facts and changed all truths, all to serve their evil goals.
My Dear Sister,
The goals that your enemies and the enemies of your religion are seeking to achieve are well known. They want you to be available for them to fulfill their evil desires whenever they wish. They want you to be a mistress that has no honor. They want you to be found everywhere, on roads and in places of sin, without honor, religion or manners. They seek for you only what they want you to do.
The Western world has gone through this all. Women of the West are the part of society that is facing injustice and dishonor. They strive to please men who keep changing partners and seek pleasures but with no responsibility and no consideration of the evil consequences of their sinful actions.
O Muslim sister, read and know about those women who discarded shyness and honor and followed their desires, what was the result of their deeds? Was their end honorable and desirable, or was it a shameful and hated end?
Advice For My Sister In Islam
Be proud of your religion and the religion of your ancestors. Be a good example for your sons and daughters and sincere in your belonging to this mighty nation.
Know that honor is an honor to all wise people, and that adultery is dishonorable to all nations, even if some called it freedom. Know that adultery is also done with the eyes by seeing, with the ears by listening, and with the mouth by kissing, as was mentioned in a Hadith related by Imam Muslim.
Your happiness is in being an obedient and believing daughter, a loyal and generous wife and a pious and merciful mother.
Know that prayer is the cornerstone of Islam. Fasting one day, for the sake of Allah, takes your face seventy years away from Hellfire, as the Hadith, related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim, states.
Charity is a major cause for gaining forgiveness and for repentance to be accepted.
Those women who are showing parts of their bodies to men, will not enter Paradise or smell its fragrance and are cursed, as in the Hadith related by Imam Muslim.
Hijab is an honor and protection for you. Hijab must be modest in color and not exotic, wide and thick and not revealing, different from the dress of non-Muslim women and men.
My Dear Sister,
These are words from the heart. These are words of good and sincere advice.
Beware of the loyalists of Satan who want to lead you astray.
Be a slave of Allah, righteous and descendent of righteous women and know your role in building this great nation.
Perform your duty and do not be a cause for destruction. Be a maker of righteous generation that will lead mankind, again, to what is right and proper, to the great religion of Islam.